Ebola…More Like NObola

Lisa and I decided recently that we wanted to do a post about Ebola. We talked about it extensively on the phone during a very important blog meeting. We even realized that we have actually talked about Ebola on the blog before (we think we might be psychic now). We figured out exactly what we wanted to say (but didn’t actually type it out as we talked) and then before we knew it, it was time to leave for carpool.

By the time we got back home and monitored homework, oversaw dinner and negotiated bedtime it was too late. After all, The Voice battle rounds weren’t going to watch themselves.

We briefly considered trying again the next day during another very important blog meeting, but then we got sidetracked by how much we love Pharrell Williams (SO SO MUCH) and whether or not Blake really has a cocktail in his cup (we totes think yes).

It doesn’t even matter anymore, though, because our friend Tara at You Know it Happens at Your House Too totally did it for us. And she did it far better and far funnier than we could have ever hoped to! We read it together in our third very important blog meeting of the day, and we were both crying with laughter. We knew immediately we had to share it here and sent her messages on every form of social media as quickly as we could type! It is possible that we might have used words like “stalking” and “please don’t get a restraining order against us” when we begged her to let us share it with our beloved Dose Peeps.

She graciously agreed, probably mostly to get us to stop tweeting her every five seconds!

So, without further ado, we present to you just a tiny snippet of her post…

EBOLA.

It’s everywhere. On the news, in the newspaper, Facebook news feed everywhere, the Twitter.

EBOLA OUTBREAK! STOCKPILE THE FOODS! NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE!

We were laughing already, but when we got to this part we honestly had tears streaming down our faces…

Things that scare me more than Ebola:

  • Head lice

  • Twelve-year-old girls

We won’t give anymore away, because y’all need to go read the rest of the post yourselves…and we promise you will be CRACKING up, too!

Ebola, You Don’t Scare Me

We are closing comments here today, so that you can all share the Dose love with Tara directly.

Ebola

 

 

 

We Do Want THIS “Cole” in Our Stocking

We gave up TV.

No, not watching it. We’re still alive. We just gave up writing about it.

We were burned by The Bachelor-and not the kind of burning The Bachelor usually gives you that is easily cured by a strong dose of penicillin. No. This was serious.

The Bachelor overlord and evil dream crusher, Mike Fleiss, didn’t choose Arie as the next Bachelor.

unfair

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were devastated. We took time off to lick our wounds (and watched the Arie kissing video about 100 times). We vowed NEVER to get so involved in a TV show again.

Until now.

You see, although we haven’t been writing about our latest TV obsession, we are totally caught up in its spell, and we don’t care who knows it!

 

It’s THE VOICE!

Yes, we’ve written about The Voice many times before, but this time is special. This time we are *really* smitten.

 

 

No, we’re not taken with a new animal Cee Lo has brought to the table. This season his wrangler must be on vacay because we’ve seen nary a beast in his lap or on his shoulder. (Although his stylist has been on a roll. His ensemble for the last episode had an Emperor Palpatine meets Zorro flair done exclusively in black leather. It was fantastic.)

It’s not with Christina, although she seems to be remembering to wear crotch covering separates now more than in any previous season. She’s even made a real effort to be NICE to the contestants. It must be killing her.

It’s not even with People Magazine’s reigning “Sexiest Man Alive” Adam, although he continues to bring his soprano voiced enthusiasm to the table (and a current Brylcreem’d hairdo that is bordering on Jimmy Neutron levels of pompadour height).

Best Tweet EVAH

Actual Tweet by our friend Gayle who is @dogmagayle on Twitter. She’s awesome!

 

 

It isn’t even that OUR VERY OWN TWITTER HANDLE made it onto the televised broadcast (although that was certainly thrilling)!

 

 

 

 

Nope!! We are totally Team Blake this season!! More specifically, we absolutely LOVE his honey voiced, unique, guitar playing, uber talented contestant…

We ADORE him.

Originally Cole was on Team Cee Lo. Thank goodness for Cee Lo’s excellent ear because he was the only chair that turned for Cole! Can you imagine?! After the Knock Out Round both Adam and Blake tried to steal him, but Cole chose Blake!

The show has SO much talent this season. We think James Wolpert is absolutely amazing, and we loved Matthew Schuler who went home last week. They were our ultimate, dream Top 3.

But our hearts (and iPod playlists) are dominated by Cole.

His voice is like butter. It’s soulful and gorgeous. Cole sings with so much heart and emotion, it just draws you in. When we finish listening to one of his songs, we want to hit the replay button immediately. We just never get tired on his laid-back take on every single song he does. On top of that, he seems to be a genuinely nice person.

Now, we’d be enchanted by Cole and his beautiful voice even if he had the smooth cheeks of a newborn baby but, we have to admit, we really dig his hirsute look. We’re just nuts about his beard. His beard is so glorious it has its own Twitter account. In fact, @Coles_Beard has over 10 times more Twitter followers than the next most famous beard we know- Uncle Si’s Beard. Those are some powerful hair follicles right there!!

cole's grandma

 

Cole even has the sweetest Grandmother who is always in the audience to hear her boy sing. She’s always talking with and being supportive to the other contestants’ families, too.

Isn’t she ADORBS?!

 

 

If you aren’t watching The Voice this season (But wait…why aren’t you? Don’t you like talent, entertainment, and adorable Meemaws?), you need to be watching for Cole Vosbury. He’s singing tonight for a coveted spot in next week’s Finale. We want our Cole to go ALL THE WAY and win this thing!

So get on the #ColeTrain and join us tonight. We cannot let Cole down. We’ve already been traumatized enough by the fact that Arie isn’t going to be the next Bachelor. (A whole season of Juan Pablo…REALLY, FLEISS? What did we ever do to you? *sob*)

We are totally due for a television win, Santa, and we’ve been so good this year! (okay…we’ve been “good-ish”) A win for Cole Vosbury is exactly the kind of “Cole” we *do* want in our stocking this year!!

Cole in our Stockings

 

Top 10 Ways We Will NOT Be Changing In 2013

You know what, everyone is all over the interwebs declaring their new found goals for the coming year. Something about the flip of the calendar makes any thing seem possible. Maybe this year will be different!

We get it. We got in on the action with our Friday Feasts Pinterest Challenge. Clearly, we are on the road to a new year, new you philosophy ourselves. Well, until we decide it is too much work and go back to ordering pizza four times a week!

Thanks to Monday Listicles we were asked to think of ten things we had no intention of changing in 2013. Not a problem. We could have thought of twenty.

But the rule is ten. So, we stuck with that. We are, after all, rule followers by nature.

1. Starbucks- You know what, between Starbucks and Target, we are in our happy place. Imagine our delight when we find the Targets that contain Starbucks. Yeah, that is called heaven. Reading a fantastically awesome blog post the other day by our friend Britton, we found ourselves horrified at how many calories our favorite drinks contained. It’s like we’re drinking a whole meal… if your meal has a LOT of calories. *sob* Naturally, it left us questioning whether we should continue to indulge. Are the massive calories really worth it? Duh. Yes.

2. Participating in Monday Listicles as often as possible- The topics are fun, and we always enjoy thinking outside the box when it comes to this fun meme. Plus, it is fun to read what other bloggers add to their lists!

3. Our addiction to reality TV- After all, if not for shows like The Bachelor (now with Hot Sean! Yay!) how would we ever figure out exactly what a luxury brand consultant does for a living? And obviously, we will not be giving up The Voice, even if we can no longer look forward to what satin pajamas Cee-Lo will be wearing until the new season starts in March. We know it’s not cool or high-brow to watch these shows, but they make us too happy to care.

Cee Lo and Christina Duet

4. Tackling current events- We are both news junkies. We talk about politics and current events nonstop with each other. Sometimes, they must be discussed here on the blog. And dissected. And analyzed. Even though, we are not journalists, we are mothers, we are wives, we are women, we have a voice, and we plan to keep using it.

5. Keeping it real- If we can’t be honest about our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly, then we really aren’t living up to our blog motto at all, are we? So, we promise you all that 2013 will be spent exposing more of the deep, dark realities of our lives! Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

6. Giving back- We feel really strongly about using whatever platform we have for good whenever possible. It seems like there is just so much need. If we all get together and chip away at it little by little, we can make a difference. One of our very favorite bloggers (and people) Chrysula Winegar says it best: When you wake up a mother, you wake up the world. Absolutely.

ItsCalledParenting

7. Our number of pet peeves- As we get older, we seem to be getting crankier when it comes to the things that irritate us. Parents who ignore carpool rules. Ugh. Your time is not more valuable than ours! When someone describes a dad watching his own children as “babysitting”. GAH! We know they have the Y chromosome to contend with and all, but they are still parenting like the rest of us. We guess we’re just gearing up for our cantankerous, little old lady phase that will hit in a decade or two (give or take).

8. Our fashion sense- Fortunately this blogging gig doesn’t require fancy work duds because we’d cry and cry. On any given day, at least one of us has on clogs and/or yoga pants most likely with a shirt that has a hole in it. It is just our way. They used to call this “giving up”. Nah. That’s not it. We are just being true to ourselves…and ourselves want to be comfortable.

9. Our screen time- We’ve heard several people make resolutions to spend less time in front of the computer and more time just being in the moment. You know, less time pinning and status updating and more time being unplugged. Well, not us! We love the unnatural glow of the screen. If we didn’t check out Facebook several times a day we’d laugh a lot less and without Pinterest we’d never know 50 ways to tie a scarf or know that there is an apparatus to make a hamburger into a hot dog shape. Plus, it’s really hard to type a blog post if you don’t turn the computer on.

10. Agreeing on one of the most important questions of our time- Sometimes when it comes to the really important stuff, you’ve just got to agree to disagree. No matter how many times we revisit this topic, we just can’t come to the same conclusion. We can go back and forth for hours. We’ve each decided that, although the other is completely deluded, we will look past it and remain friends. (Until the other one finally comes to her senses!)

MondayListicles

“The Voice” Is In My Head

You may remember that we here at The Dose of Reality love TV. We love all kinds of TV, but there is a special place in our hearts for reality TV. We realize it’s not socially acceptable to admit you watch so many TV shows that you have to create an Excel spreadsheet to program your DVR in order to avoid a dreaded recording conflict. It’s obviously supposed to be *more* embarrassing if 2 or 3 (or 6) of your favorite shows are reality TV based, because everyone knows that is the lowest form of TV programming. Yes, we do watch other “respected” shows like Game of Thrones or Homeland—you know shows that are cool and don’t make people wrinkle their noses at you.

Lest you worry about the state of our brains turning to mush, we do actually do things other than watch TV. Hey, we also love to read—along the line of a book or two a week as a matter of fact. It’s just that we *love* our TV. We fully realize that a love of this kind is supposed to be a guilty pleasure. Well, we don’t care. We’re about keeping it real here. And besides, we’re too happy watching our wonderful shows to feel guilty. All we feel is the pleasure!

It will be no surprise to anyone that this is an exciting week because Season 3 of The Voice premieres. If you have never watched The Voice then you might not know that it is the best talent based competitive reality show around.

There are three distinct phases to this singing contest.

First, we have the Blind Audition phase. The four coaches have their backs turned to the contestants. The contestants then sing and if the coach likes what he or she hears, they turn around indicating they’d like that singer on their team. If more than one coach turns around, the contestant gets to pick which coach they want.

Once all the teams are set with 16 contestants each, the second round involves team members battling each other in duels (No swords, I’m afraid. They sing duets so it’s more of a “West Side Story” type of battle) to whittle the teams down to 8-ish.

In the third phase, teams battle other coach’s teams each until one contestant, and thus one coach, is named the ultimate grand winner supreme. If the last two phases sound a bit fuzzy, they are. The Voice always switches it up the exact rules each season, and they haven’t seen fit to explain them yet. It’s probably on the website. (I don’t know, I’m not an investigative journalist. I’m just a gal with a DVR). But our host Carson Daly (yes THAT one from MTV when you were younger) is keeping us on a need to know basis, and that’s okay with me.

As the blind auditions started last night, I had numerous questions swirling in my head about the glorious coaches I have come to know and love over the past 2 seasons: Will Cee Lo Green wear his all red pajama outfit replete with matching sunglasses? (He did not. He went with an all white satiny outfit but did put a cockatoo on his shoulder periodically to make up for it). Will Blake Shelton wear a vest and almost charm all of the contestants into picking him? (That was an easy one…of course). What color t-shirt will Adam Levine wear? (It was white with an American flag making him look like the hottest dad at the 4th of July picnic). Will Christina remember to wear actual pants with her bedazzled top? (Nope, but she’s Christina-effing-Aguilera. Pants are irrelevant).

In the end, though, the best thing about the show is the music. They feature and respect all types of music on this show including pop, soul, rock, reggae, country, opera, and rap. There is literally a contestant to fill all your musical tastes, whatever they may be. This is heaven for someone like me who really does like just about every kind of music. (My middle schooler has even turned me on to dubstep which proves you are never too old to listen to what sounds like machines screaming).

So, which contestant will capture the hearts and minds of The Voice audience this year? Will it be Terry on Team Blake, the Scottish rocker who looks like he hopped out of the Bay City Rollers poster I had hanging on my wall when I was 8? His voice was powerful yet so smooth I would have thought he was not singing live if I didn’t know better. I already have a semi-crush on him because he dressed his tiny son in a double breasted suit for the show and also…Scottish accent.

But, maybe it will be the awesome De’borah on Team Christina who seems to look to Steve Urkel as her style mentor and actually made me cry with her story of how hearing Christina’s songs changed her life. Her voice has a deep and unique tone that’s beautiful. Both of her parents are pastors, and the church sort of shunned her when she came out. Her parents are having none of that because they love and support her more than anything, and so do I. She’s quirky and authentic and there is nothing more attractive and compelling than someone who is authentically themself.

I am currently giving the side eye to Bryan on Team Adam who tried to impresses us that he wants to make it on his own and not use his dad’s connections. (His dad is Grammy winning musician Ray De La Paz). His voice was just so-so to my ear. I don’t know. See, unlike the judges I can see the people as they sing and his pork pie hat and chin pube beard made my douche warning system go on high alert. His personal style is a big problem for me. I wished I had a chair to turn around so I didn’t have to look at him. When he said backstage he figured all 4 judges would turn around for him, I knew I would be rooting for the day he gets sent home. Sorry, Bryan, maybe you can win me back eventually.

I think the winner could possibly be the amazing Trevin on Team Cee Lo, who has a voice so beautiful I feel like I could start crying just thinking about how his voice soared toward the end of his audition. I can’t believe he just turned 18 because he doesn’t just hit beautiful notes, he has real feeling behind what he sings. Despite sounding like a young Luther Vandross, he has confidence issues because a teacher once refuse to give him a recommendation for a performing arts high school. She thought he’d never make it. Well, since I’ve already bought his audition song on iTunes, my money says she’s wrong.

So, what do you think? Is The Voice calling to you this season?