TheBachelorette Archives - The Dose of Reality

“Arie” Ready To Know The Tweeting Champion?

Posted on August 1, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

Once again, The Dose Nation really stepped up and helped us out with the quest we hold closest to our hearts. Y’all really know a good cause when you see one!

You Tweeted like crazy to make Arie the next Bachelor just to make us smile. (Okay, winning valuable prizes like your own Flat Arie may have provided some motivation, too).

Well, the wait is over! Today is the day that we reveal all of the prizes in The Arie Dream Date Prize Pack including the mystery video we promised! Who isn’t dying to see that?

Patience, Dose Peeps, patience.

First things first. You need to know our winner.

We have a really scientific formula for picking winners in our totally homemade contests of great importance. It is super complicated, so you probably want to pay close attention.

First, we numbered all the tweets that included Arie, Fleissmeister (that is Mike Fleiss, king of the entire Bachelor fiefdom) and us, plus had the link to the post.

Secondly, we fed them into random.org and waited while the computer worked its magic and gave us this winning tweet:

The winner is Tracy from Crazy As Normal! Your hard work and dedication to this cause really paid off! (It was a sweet, sweet bonus that the tweet made us spit our water all over our keyboards when we read it.)

Well played, Tracy, well played.

But it wasn’t all fun and laughter at Twitter with this post. We did have Twitter heartbreak, too. It left us more downtrodden and hopeless than Darla sitting on the Bench of Sorrow getting dumped by Brooks last Monday.

In spite of the multiple tweets that you all put out in the universe with love and hope, Arie didn’t respond like he did to the last “Make Arie The Bachelor” post.

Nope. He was all full of Twitter silence. Hold us, friends. *sob*

Was the pink hat a step too far?

But enough of our sadness. Like poor Daria after the excruciatingly long break up session with Brooks (Seriously dude. Dumping someone is like ripping off a bandage. Get in, get out. Swiftness is a virtue), we had to pull ourselves together and soldier on…for Tracy’s sake.

So we will first reveal the MYSTERY VIDEO ITEM in The Arie Dream Date Prize Pack procured from Amazon.com after extensive Google searching….

It’s ROAD SKILLZ, the 24 minute, Arie hosted, action packed, driving video specifically aimed at the 16-25 year-old and novice driver. WOOT!

You are already popping your popcorn to watch Arie in all his long hair, driving instruction video glory, aren’t you?

By the way, we consider it a feat greater than resisting an open s’mores bar that we did not crack open that DVD and preview it for ourselves!

And now we will reveal the rest of the fabulous items that are coming right to Tracy’s doorstep for her herculean Twitter efforts….

Tracy will be prepared for all dating scenarios with…

A clapboard for a dream movie date
Glittery sun glasses to protect her eyes in the event of an outdoorsy date
A rose because this *is* all about The Bachelor
A faux diamond engagement ring just in case the date goes well
A flashing tiara for a princess themed date (Hey,don’t snicker! They happen on The Bachelor)
A lip shaped bottle opener so she can get soused
Tracy’s brand new copy of the epic DVD “Road Skillz”..and of course…
A handmade Flat Arie for all her photo op needs

What do you think about that, Tracy?

Congratulations on your big win!!

Now all we have to do is wait and see who is announced as the next Bachelor. It’s out of our hands now. We’ve made our feelings known. We have expressed all the reasons that Arie should be the next Bachelor. We just have to remain hopeful that good will triumph, and that Mike Fleiss will find it in his heart to give the people what they really want.

Do it for America, Fleiss!!

EXCITING UPDATE!!!! (No, no word from Fleiss yet…but still thrilling)

Arie has broken his Twitter silence and declared us “pretty awesome”

We are pretty excited!

“Arie” Ready To Choose The Next Bachelor Now, Fleiss?!

Posted on July 15, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

Dear Mike Fleiss, ruler of our Monday nights, producer of the finest reality programming ever to grace our television screens, and mastermind behind the entire Bachelor empire:

It is time to get serious. No more fun and games.

Time is running out on Denise’s season of The Bachelorette (thank God!), which means that you must choose the next Bachelor right now. It’s decision time, Mr. Fleiss. The way we see it, you have three ways to go here.

1) You can choose the man, the myth, the legend…the one who makes hearts race, lips purse, and who caused the biggest swooning epidemic since Leo and Kate stood on the bow of that ship. A man so hot air conditioners spontaneously combust in his presence, so smart he uses proper grammar (and you *know* how rare that is for someone involved with The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise), and with such a great sense of humor that he laughs when we take his flat likeness out on adventures!

The choice that any right thinking person would make: Arie Luyendyk Jr.

2) One of the “special” guys currently courting Debra this season. This gives you Chris-a guy who pops his suit jacket collar (something we didn’t even do in the 80’s…we know, we were young back then), Brooks-an adult who has not yet mastered the art of the daily shampoo and sports the Canadian tuxedo look regularly, Zak-who started this show without a shirt and is leaving it without dignity, or Drew-who is handsome, kind, sweet and so obviously gay that we really have a friend who we want to set him up with (Doug? Are you reading this?).

3) Third time’s a charm for Brad Womack.

The third option leaves us feeling desperate, hopeless, and praying for a cable outage.

The second option is the worst possible scenario since Michael Jackson walked Liza Minnelli down the aisle to marry David Gest. Besides being bad dressers and somewhat hygiene challenged, this crop of suitors is BORING. B-O-R-I-N-G. We have already had to endure Daphne’s snoozefest of a season and cannot possibility take another second of these fellas.

That really leaves you with only one clear choice, Fleiss.

Surely you are picking him, right, Mike? RIGHT, MIKE?!?

We know you are a busy mogul with lots of things to do, so we took the liberty of mocking up a few potential Bachelor Arie dates using our Flat Arie. We used ourselves as stand-ins for the contestants. (Sorry, we are not actually available for filming…we don’t live near L.A. and our passports are expired). [And, we are married.-Lisa] [Oh yeah, that, too.-Ashley]

Date #1:

We think the perfect spot for this would be in Branson, Missouri. That would be a step up from Pigeon Forge where you sent him the last time, right?

Date #2:

You’ve got to put him in his element, duh! He’ll take the pole position. Oh, yeah.

Date #3:

We know you’ve got to have the cross-promotional movie date each season! Hello there Lone Ranger 2!!

See, wouldn’t those be great?

America wants this Mr. Fleiss.

So, grab a rowboat and stay tuned to your Twitter feed…it is about to get flooded.

SIncerely,

PSSSSST: Hey Dose Peeps, we need your help now. Remember last time we had an Arie Twitter campaign? You all tweeted your hearts out, and one lucky Dose Peep won the prize of a lifetime for her efforts.

Well, we are doing it again!

All you need to do is tweet this post to Arie and Mike Fleiss, and you will be entered into a drawing for our most exciting prize ever: The Arie Dream Date Prize Pack.

The Arie Dream Date Prize Pack will include (but is not limited to):

Your very own Flat Arie for photo ops and wherever else your imagination takes you.
A dining experience (if we can find a BOGO entree coupon that hasn’t expired in our Citipass Coupon books).
One AMC movie pass and a certificate for 2 small sodas at your nearest Regal Cinema (sorry these are for different movie theaters, but it is all we have leftover from our birthday gifts).
A movie so exciting and special we guarantee it will take up permanent residence in your DVD player. We will not reveal the title of this film until we award the prize package because you’d be too excited to tweet properly, but we’ve already purchased it from Amazon.com and it features Arie himself. (Get your minds out of the gutter. It is wholesome and fun for the whole family!)
And more, more, more within the confines of our dollar aisle budget and our limited imaginations (Remember, our last actual dates occurred before the Internet or cell phones existed and back when the Model-T was a happen’ ride).

Stumped on what to say? NO PROBLEM!! Here are some sample tweets that you can cut and paste:

~@fleissmeister don’t let America & @TheDoseTweets down. You love America, don’t you? https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/07/15/arie-2/ Pick @ariejr to be The Bachelor

~@fleissmeister there is only ONE choice for the next #Bachelor and it’s @ariejr ! Make @TheDoseTweets happy! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/07/15/arie-2/

~@ariejr will make hearts race as the next #Bachelor & @TheDoseTweets are revved up to tell @fleissmeister about it! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/07/15/arie-2/

In case you need any further reason to go on this Twitter campaign with us, you should know that our previous winner Kat Biggie had her life changed forever when she won the Ultimate Kissing Prize Pack…

“When my package arrived from The Dose Girls, and I saw my very own Flat Arie my life truly began. Up until that moment I didn’t really know what happiness looked like. Now, Flat Arie sleeps with me (my husband has fully embraced our new bedmate!), he rides in the car with me, and my daughter wants to take him to school for show and tell (yeah right!). Dose Girls, I will gladly accept a rose from you any day because winning the Ultimate Kissing Prize Pack is better than winning the lottery!” -Kat Biggie**

**Disclaimer: Her actual statement was, “Hey, thanks.” We read between the lines.

Because this Twitter campaign is SO IMPORTANT, we are running it for 2 weeks. So, between right this minute and 11:00 p.m. on Tuesday, July 23rd tweet as much as your fingers will allow. Each tweet is a separate entry. Go to Twitter jail if have to. Mark it on your to-do list so you remember to tweet it every day. More is definitely better. This mission is just that important.

It’s so important, in fact, that if The Dose Nation makes it happen, we will not only recap EVERY SINGLE Arie filled episode (oh, yes we will)…we will even treat you to our first official VLOG ever! (No, that’s not a threat. It’s a promise. You’re welcome.)

We will announce the winner of The Arie Dream Date Prize Pack in a very special post on Thursday, August 1st.

Stay tuned and tweet like it’s your day job!

No Flat Arie’s were harmed in the writing of this post. Any resemblance to the real Arie is totally intentional because…have you SEEN him?! Wow! All references to the Bachelor empire and its lord, Mike Fleiss, were only meant to entice and encourage Tweeting. The Dose Girls were in no way compensated for their efforts or encouraged by ABC, Arie Luyendyk, Jr. or Mike Fleiss. We have the Cease and Desist orders to prove it. We just love America and want what’s best for Bachelor viewers everywhere!

PS. You didn’t really think we’d leave you hanging without THE KISSING VIDEO, did you? You know we love you more than that!

“Arie” Ready To Find Out The Big Winner?!

Posted on June 3, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

Last week we ~~totally begged~~ asked you all to join our quest to make Arie the next star of ABC’s The Bachelor. (If you don’t know about our quest you’ve got to click the link. We know you’ll be on board once you read it.)

Well, the Dose Peeps stepped up!!

As our Twitter feed filled up with hashtags and tweets to Arie, we knew that our readers rocked the free world! Well, we already knew that, but it’s fun to see it in action…especially action that could potentially (fingers crossed) include the chance to see 2 hours of Arie every week.

Needless to say, the only thing left to do was finish selecting the prizes for:

It was a team effort.

As all things like this go, it started with a ~~phone call~~ very important blog meeting.

Ashley: Abby and I will hit Party City after school and pick up some kissing prize related items.

Lisa: Great! I just finished making the “Flat Arie” at Kinkos. It’s beyond fabulous. I’m going to have a really hard time mailing it off to someone else. I’m sending you some pictures right now.

Ashley: O…M…G!!! You have to go back and make another one RIGHT.THIS. MINUTE. We can haul it around with us all summer taking pictures. Hang up right now and do it. Call me back when you’re finished.

20 minutes later…

Lisa: I’m leaving Kinkos now and “Flat Arie” #2 is riding shotgun.

Lisa: This might also be a good time to tell you I won the autographed Arie photo card on ebay this morning.

Lisa: At the last minute someone else jumped in with a bid. I would not be denied, though. It was a very nerve-wracking 2 minutes.

Ashley: That’s what she said.

Lisa: Ugh! I thought we had an agreement about “that’s what she said” jokes.

Ashley: Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t resist with that set up. Back to business. This really is going to be the most ULTIMATE Kissing Prize Pack the world has ever seen!

Lisa: Exactly! I’m headed to Ulta later and can grab some other stuff there, too. What kinds of things do you want to include?

Ashley: Definitely look for the Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers or whatever kind of fun lip balm they have. And what about a travel toothbrush and toothpaste? You know, for those make-out sessions in the back of the car.

Lisa: On it! Maybe I can grab a hair scrunchie or something like that, too.

Ashley: A scrunchie?? NO. That’s the opposite of kissing and sexiness. That is for washing your face. He has to be able to run his hands through your hair. Even Abby knows a scrunchie is not hot.

Lisa: Oh, fine. It was just a suggestion! Abby is a great shopping partner. Good luck.

Cut to a couple hours later when Lisa received yet another phone call, this time from the bowels of Party City.

Ashley: Bad news. Turns out that there is not a wide selection here of lip/kissing related paraphernalia. Tons of feather boas and crowns, but lacking in Ultimate Kissing Prize Pack items.

Lisa: Awww, man, really? That’s a bummer. What do you have so far?

Ashley: Some heart shaped mints, a heart shaped bottle opener, a compact for applying lipstick, and a little vase with a red rose. Oh, and Abby just spied a sweet silver Bachelorette sash with lips on it…want me to get that?

Lisa: Score!! Of COURSE we need the sash!! I knew Abby would be a great helper! I hope our winner will wear it proudly and tweet us a picture! What about looking around for a little race car to represent Arie’s other skill set?

Ashley: Great idea! Totally just found a red one that will match his fire burning passion-for both racing AND kissing!

Ashley: Wait.A.Minute. Do you think I should get a candy bracelet, too?

Lisa: A candy bracelet?? What does that have to do with kissing?? And this from the person who gave *me* a hard time about the scrunchie??

Ashley: Obviously, this is why we work so well together. To save each other from ourselves.

In the end, we managed to assemble a winning package of goodies.

To top it all off, we made a CD with songs that all have “Kiss” in the title. We even printed a custom CD label for it. That took about 3 hours but was totally worth it, because it was a labor of love.

So BEHOLD….

THE ULTIMATE KISSING PRIZE PACK in all of its glory!!! (Disregard the messy kitchen in the background. It was either clean or take photos. PRIORITIES!)

You know there is only one thing left to do!

Drumroll please, as we reveal the big winner….

It’s ALEXA….aka KAT BIGGIE!!!!!

No…wait! We can do better than that…

Luck was a lady alright…a lady named Kat Biggie!

Like so many of you, Kat answered our challenge call in a major way. She tweeted Arie like the dedicated Dose Peep she is and in the end, when fed into random.org, it was her name that popped up!

We know she is still probably in shock over her good fortune. Imagine how she will feel when it arrives at her doorstep!

For those of you who do not see your name above, don’t despair. Let’s just say that you could have *another* chance later this summer. We know, we know, the Dose Girls are givers.

Here is what we learned from our quest so far…

If you tweet Arie enough, he will eventually respond because in addition to being a great kisser, he also has a fantastic sense of humor.

Yes. That is a real tweet. From Arie…to us! We’re in North Carolina, but we’re absolutely sure that anyone in the continental United States could hear the loud SQUEE we both let out when this happened.

There is nothing sexy about scrunchies or candy bracelets.

BFFs will save you from yourself and will cheer you on when you spend $24.52 on an autographed photo card.

BFF’s don’t, however, always appreciate “That’s what she said” jokes.

Although it’s easier than you think to come up with songs with “Kiss” in the title, printing out photo CD labels is frustrating and is best done when children with impressionable ears are not in the vicinity.

Finally, if you are Mike Fleiss and you are reading this, just know that we are serious about Arie being the next Bachelor. We know you favor picking The Bachelor from the current crop of people vying for The Bachelorette. But trust us, we’ve watched Daphne’s season premiere. #ThereAreNoFutureBachelorsThere.

We already have pledges from several of our readers who don’t even watch The Bachelor (or tv in general) that they will become LOYAL VIEWERS if Arie is selected. That’s the power he has, Fleiss. SURELY you want to tap into that. [That’s what she said. -Ashley] [Omg…you have got to stop that. -Lisa]

Listen, we’re not trying to be selfish. (Although you *do* owe us if you’re keeping score. We watched every. single. episode of Deanna’s horrifying season. You’re welcome.) But this is not just about us. We care about America and their TV enjoyment. DON’T YOU LOVE AMERICA, MIKE FLEISS????!!!

“Arie” Watching This Season Of The Bachelorette?

Posted on May 27, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

It’s that exciting time of year, folks! THIS IS THE PREMIERE NIGHT OF ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF….THE BACHELOR!!

Okay, not really. It’s The Bachelor’s demon offspring, The Bachelorette. Oh, we’ll still be watching of course, but we have to admit The Bachelorette doesn’t have quite the same “sparkle” quotient as it’s blue chip counterpart.

This season features the lovely bachelorette ~~Danielle~~ ~~Dominique~~ Desdemona-oh, whatever her name is. She was never one of our favorites. (Which is probably why HOTSEAN! rejected her in the end)

We are absolutely sure there will be intrigue, heartbreak, and drunken frat party antics this season, but that’s not why we’re *really* watching this time.

We have ulterior motives…and a job for you to do for which you will be greatly rewarded both onscreen and off!

Our goal-our quest if you will-is to use Drucilla’s season of The Bachelorette to accomplish one task and one task only:

Those of you who are new readers might not know this, but The Dose of Reality is all about Arie Luyendyk Jr. when it comes to The Bachelor. He’s dashing, sexy, smart, funny, and it just so happens that kissing is his best thing. If there was an Olympic medal for kissing, he’d be on the podium listening to the National Anthem with a gold medal around his neck. That’s the level of kissing mastery we’re talking about here.

(Did you click on those hyperlinks in the previous paragraph? You need to….no you REALLY need to if you’re going to join our mission. We’ll wait.)

Ever since he was cruelly cast aside by Emily in her season of The Bachelorette (see, this is why you can’t trust The Bachelorettes) we’ve been ~~using every available opportunity~~ making small attempts here and there to ensure Arie is the next Bachelor.

But now we’re ready to take it to the next level. This is where you come in.

For real, y’all! We kid around about a lot of things, but NOT about Arie.

Now, we know you’d want to help us out of the goodness of your own heart (and because of your own Arie love obvi), but we want to sweeten the pot and give one of our fantastic readers the gift package of a lifetime.

Interested? You should be!

We want you, our precious Dose Peeps, to help us campaign for Arie to be the next Bachelor. No, we’re not kidding. Yes, we mean it.

All you need to do is tweet this post to Arie and/or to the Executive Producer of the entire Bachelor Empire, Mike Fleiss.

Stumped on what to say? NO PROBLEM!! Here are some sample tweets that you can cut and paste:

You must read this @ariejr ! The future of kissing depends on it! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/05/27/arie/ ‎ Help @TheDoseTweets, help you! #TheBachelorette

We want @ariejr as the next #Bachelor! Make it happen @fleissmeister ! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/05/27/arie/ ‎All of us @TheDoseTweets are counting on you!

~@ariejr you must be the next Bachelor. RT this or Cupid will get a canker sore! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/05/27/arie/ Help @TheDoseTweets keep hope alive!

Or…you can devise a tweet of your own, if you prefer. To be entered for the prize, though, you must include both @TheDoseTweets and either @ariejr or @fleissmeister in the tweet.

You will get one entry in the prize pack giveaway for each tweet. There is no limit to the amount of entries you can accumulate. If you do 5000 tweets you will have 5000 entries. We’re just saying, you can determine your own fate based on how fast you can type. In this case less is not more.

Want to know what you can win? (besides the pleasure of seeing Arie on your screen for two hours every week if our genius plan works)

The Ultimate Kissing Prize Pack will include (but is not limited to):

Lip balm (Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers if we can find them)
Breath mints (probably Altoids Smalls depending on Walgreens stock)
An autographed 6×8 photo card of Arie in his racing gear (if we win the ebay auction…fingers crossed!)
A cut out of Arie himself which will be handmade by us and laminated as long as Kinkos doesn’t charge an arm and a leg. (This will be your own personal “Flat Arie” for photo ops and kissing practice) ♥♥
There will be more goodies as well! You never know what we might find at Party City or Dollar Tree. The sky’s the limit!**

**Actual Arie, unfortunately, is not included. We aren’t affiliated with ABC or The Bachelor in any official capacity. We don’t book his appearances. In fact, the restraining order stipulates we must stay 100 feet from Mr. Luyendyk, Jr. at all times.

♥♥ Simulated “Flat Arie” photograph to illustrate potential photo op possibilities:

This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ends on Friday, May 31st at 10 pm EST. So act fast! The winner will be drawn using random.org and will be contacted via Twitter on Saturday, June 1st. We will announce the winner to the world in a very special post on Monday, June 3rd. You know you want it to be you!

Good luck and happy tweeting!!

P.S. You didn’t *really* think we’d end this post without giving you what you came for, did you? Enjoy…