We recently had Spring Break and decided that traveling was unnecessary. Why not save ourselves some money and just stay here?! The relaxation would be endless since we’d have no long lines at the airport or hideous car trips that last forever. We would be kicking back and enjoying the break from the comfort of our own home! What a great idea!

We were fools, y’all, FOOLS.

See, it turns out that staying home is actually kind of pricey and no fun at all. Unless you have the kinds of children who like to sit around and eat leftovers from the fridge and read books, you will need to go and *do* stuff. Every.Single.Day.

The first question upon waking was always the same…”What are we doing today?” followed shortly by “Can we go somewhere special?”.

PPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEE Mom???!!!

Given that this question was routinely asked somewhere in the neighborhood of about 7:32 a.m. I usually had to stall them with tricks like Netflix and breakfast.

That worked super well until approximately 8:03 a.m.

My girls like to go places and see stuff and have fun and make memories, and all of that costs money. Lots and lots of money.

We hit the movies.

We went to Chuck E. Cheese. TWICE.

We spent lots of time at the mall.

You see where this is going right?

I’ve gained some wisdom during this staycation, and I want to share it with you…

• Fun costs money. Even in your own city. Even if you think it won’t.

• Threatening to take away everyone’s toys and leave them in their rooms for a solid week *is* free, however.

• The children catch on quickly if you don’t make good on your threats. They are really good at exploiting your weakness and will run you ragged.
  

• If forced to stay home at Spring Break, don’t. Go anywhere. Seriously…ANYWHERE AT ALL. Just don’t stay home. You will regret it.
  

• A chance to be alone in the car for ten minutes while the grandparents drive the children to dinner during a staycation will leave you weeping into your hands with gratefulness.
  

• Having ten straight days of non-stop togetherness at home isn’t as much fun as it sounds. (Wait, did that *ever* actually sound fun?)
  

• If your husband still goes to work each day, he’ll end up missing all of the staycation fun. Lucky bastard Poor guy.
  

Needless to say we’re definitely going to do something next Spring Break. I don’t care what it is, but it will be something. Sharing a pup tent with my entire family of four in a rattlesnake infested portion of the Arizona desert sounds more appealing to me than scheduling back-to-back Staycations.