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If I Can’t Find It On Google, Does It Exist?

Posted on October 12, 2012 by The Dose of Reality

You know the age old saying about a tree falling in the forest and no one being around to hear it?

I feel that way about Google.

I use it for everything. If I have a question, Google has the answer. In fact, most of the time Google is so helpful that it knows my question before I even finishing typing it. (Is my headache…trying to kill me…yes, Google, that is what I wanted to know, thank you).

Take today for example. My dad and I were having a discussion about presidential term limits. I told him I was so sure that people could only be President for a maximum of two terms over their lifetime, not just consecutive terms that I would be willing to bet all the money in my wallet on it. Which, given that I had a whole three dollars to bet should tell you that I was *pretty* confident in my knowledge.

But, just to be totally sure, before I parted with enough money to get three chances to win the Powerball lottery, I checked Google.

Sure enough, I was totally right, and my dad owes me $3. Pay up Dad, lottery tickets don’t buy themselves, you know.

I realized, though, after I hung up with him that I rely on Google the way my mother used to try to make me rely on our set of World Book Encyclopedias. If I had a question back in the day, she would totally tell me to “go look it up”.

Forget the fact that it might have been 1989 and our encyclopedias came out in 1984 [You were lucky! I grew up with the red, white, and blue 1976 Bicentennial edition! -Lisa], if I needed an answer to something that is where I would find it. Unless, of course, it was an event from 1986, then I was out of luck.

I honestly feel like Google has the answer for everything and if you can’t find the answer on Google, then the answer just doesn’t exist. So, thank you Google, you solve my problems, you make me richer, and I can even find out things that happened after 1984.

GooglePost

Disney Is Magical…Even On a School Night

Posted on October 11, 2012 by The Dose of Reality

Last night my children got to stay up until 9:30 p.m.

On a school night.

I know, right? I totally must have hit my head or something, because everyone knows that I find a 7:00 p.m. bedtime to be pretty much my daily gift…for ~~the children~~ me.

Last night was special, though. It was my chance to give them a little something because of this blog. This blog that takes so much of my time and energy, so many moments of “ssshhhh, mommy is working”, so many minutes of “girls, please, I have got to concentrate”, that they deserved the night of staying up late and seeing Disney on Ice.

They have been counting down the days and let me tell you that the show did not disappoint. Wearing adorable Disney clothing (the children, not Robert and me for God’s sake) and armed with our winter coats and mittens (ice shows are cold y’all), we headed uptown for the big evening!

All Dressed Up and Ready To Go!

After purchasing the requisite souvenirs and bucket of popcorn we found our seats, which were fantastic! We could see everything on the ice clearly, so we all settled back and got ready to be transported into the Disney worlds of fantasy.

The girls were transfixed by the arrival of Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy to start the show, and it was non-stop fun from that point on. They loved getting to see the beloved characters from Cars, The Little Mermaid and Tinkerbell all before intermission.

Fantastic End To the First Half Of the Show

The entire second half of the show is dedicated to Toy Story 3, and I am here to tell you that Ken steals the show. And the music for that part is awesome…the adults were totally singing along in our seats! I found myself getting a little teary-eyed at the end when Andy was saying goodbye to his toys, because I looked at the faces next to me and realized that sooner than I can possibly imagine Scout and Snuggle Puppy (the lovies my girls have) will most likely make their way to a box. Which of course led me to start thinking about the passage of time and children growing up and oh Lord, here I go again.

Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy all returned to close the show, and I was shocked when I looked at my watch to realize two hours had gone by already! This was definitely a great evening and one that I have no doubt we will talking about for months to come!

If you are looking for a sure thing, and Disney on Ice is coming to your town then snatch up your tickets! You will love it, your children will love it, and you will make magical memories together!

Feld Entertainment provided tickets to The Dose of Reality, but all of my opinions, photos, and references to my children’s late bedtimes are my own!

Top 10 Reasons Preteen Boys Rock

Posted on September 24, 2012 by The Dose of Reality

As we all know, there are many stages of childhood. With each comes some wonderful things and some…well…not so wonderful things. The pros and cons let’s say. As the mother of a 12 ½ year old son, Bobby, who is *this* close to teenhood (teendom? teenagery?), I feel qualified to spread the word about this stage for boys.

The downsides of having a preteen aged son are well documented—the smells, the messiness, the sheer volume of Axe Body Spray that must be purchased—yes, but those are things I’ll save for another day. Today I’d like to tell you about the good things, the GREAT things actually, about having a preteen son. These don’t get quite as much airtime as they should, and I’m not sure why. It’s a really well kept secret that this stage is LOADS of fun.

1. THEY WILL CARRY THINGS FOR YOU

The preteen male absolutely revels in the fact that he is getting stronger, starting to fill out, and becoming manly (yes, I can ALMOST see that wisp of hair you are calling a mustache, honey). What fun are manly muscles if they are not showing off? None at all it turns out! Everywhere we go, Bobby immediately starts gathering bags or boxes to carry like he is part oxen. I don’t even have to ask. I swear I have not carried a bag out of Target for over a year. He is very proud to heft those bags right out to the car without even putting them in the cart, thank you very much. It is awesome!

2. THEY CAN REACH THE HIGH SHELF FOR YOU

Now, if you are very tall some of you might have to wait a bit for this one, but if you are short like me (I measure in at a shrimpy 5’3” on a good day), this rocks. Bobby has been taller than me for about a year now with a better reach to match. If my husband is not around or is otherwise occupied, guess who is more than happy to reach up to the high shelf for me? You got it. You can practically see him beat his chest like a cave man every time he performs this task. It’s a win-win for us both.

3. THEY ARE FUNNY

You know when a younger child tells you a joke and you laugh and laugh, not because it’s actually hysterical but because they made it up themselves and it’s your parental duty to chuckle? Or maybe you laugh despite the fact that it’s that’s been around so long even your parents are tired of it? Well, those days are over, my friend! Right about now, they start knowing real jokes that are actually funny. Now, these are jokes aren’t always “appropriate” for all types of company, mind you, but they know real honest to goodness ways to make you laugh *on purpose*. Aside from jokes, they totally grasp sarcasm, irony, puns, and can also deliver a deadpan line without cracking a smile. It all begins here!

4. THEY READ GOOD BOOKS

I’ve always been a big reader (find me on GoodReads!), and it turns out that Bobby is as well. When I was little, once you finished children’s books like Little House on the Prairie or Nancy Drew, you were out of luck if you were a reader. You had Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret, then…zilch. There was no Young Adult category like today. I started reading grown up books around 6th grade which was sometimes fine, but more often was not. (Let’s just say I read more Sidney Sheldon than was probably wise.) Now, however, there are fabulous books for young adults—books you will *love*. It was Bobby who told me I should read The Hunger Games trilogy long before any other grown up I knew had heard of it. He also turned me on to The Graveyard Book which introduced me to Neil Gaiman, who is now one of my favorite authors. I, then, told him about the Chaos Walking trilogy, and he returned the favor by having me read the Fablehaven books and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. I know this will only get better and better, and I love it!

5. THEY LIKE GOOD MUSIC

I truly love all kinds of music. You’ll find classical, pop, rock, country, folk, and everything in between on my iPod. I have nothing against Justin Bieber or One Direction. They are absolute staples to my 9 year old daughter, Lucy. But music is important to the preteen boy, and the stuff they listen to is actual music that doesn’t feature a single artist who would be caught dead in Tiger Beat. Bonus points for you if your child plays an instrument (Bobby plays the guitar) because you can get them to learn songs you like. They can finally play well enough that you can even recognize the song. Because of Bobby, my iPod now also has rap and dubstep—yes, I do play them even when I’m alone without a child in sight. This might be counted as a negative for some people, but not for me. If you love music, your preteen will make sure you are up to date on what is good and current right now. Look who’s the coolest mom in carpool!

6. THEY ARE GOOD AT GAMES

I stop the “always letting the kids win” thing with games when kids turn 8 or 9. Now, I’m not saying that I purposefully go all out to stomp them in the ground, but I do quit letting them take multiple turns or changing the rules to suit them. Still, it’s not very competitive, and you can always win if you wish. You are playing games to spend time with them and that’s wonderful, but you can’t play up to your *actual* ability. Right about this stage, though, the preteen boy starts getting good at games and has the ability to go with his burgeoning male confidence. Whether you are talking about board games like Blokus, digital games like Hanging With Friends, or outside fun like shooting hoops, preteens will know what they’re doing. You may still win most of the time, but more and more it takes some actual *doing* and it’s not always a foregone conclusion. If you are somewhat competitive like me, this is fantastic!!

7. THEY CAN GO TO GOOD MOVIES

If you have a child, you will spend more than a few hours of your life in the movie theater watching children’s movies. Some are fantastic and destined to become classics, but some are so awful you deserve a reward (and a cocktail) just for making it to the end. Either way, you will be spending some of your time and money in this way. When boys hit the preteen years, the things they want to see are suddenly things that sound actually enjoyable to you as well. Now, the movies they select will have a definite male bent to them, but they are movies you might actually select for yourself, and there will not be an animated animal in any of them. You’ll happily attend the newest Batman movie, Mission Impossible, or Sherlock Holmes and—get this—you will actually be parenting at the same time. It doesn’t get any better than this!

8. THEY DO ALL THEIR OWN HOMEWORK

When your children are younger there is a fair amount of home work that you, as a parent, are required to spend hours doing. You are expected to turn lowly shoe boxes into adorable Valentine’s Day mailboxes, you have to help create posters and dioramas at the drop of a hat, and you probably have to make sure that all homework tasks are done by the time bed rolls around. You are mostly in charge of the whole deal really. Guess what, that is NOT TRUE of the preteen. A wonderful thing takes place right around middle school. You don’t have to do a damn thing. They start organizing themselves, they know what has been assigned, they are old enough to do any project thrown at them completely independently, and they frankly don’t want your help because they are just beginning to think they know everything. (Score!) Sure they might ask you to quiz them to make sure they know their stuff for the Social Studies test they’ve studied for, but sometimes you can’t even do that. (Hello Spanish! My husband took French, and I took Latin. We are no help at all!) Yes, you will still want to spot check to make sure that they are being neat with assignments (they are still boys, of course), and you will still make sure they are keeping up with all of their subjects. But overall, you don’t have assignments nor are you the one who has to keep track of what needs to be done and when. You will not believe the hours of your life this will allow you to reclaim, and the joy this will afford you. They are truly becoming very capable and self sufficient!

Of course sometimes they are too busy texting to actually talk to you.

9. THEY CAN SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT

Sure, they still spend a decent amount of time in the back seat. (When it’s your turn for carpool duty they want to sit next to their friends so they can talk, of course). But, when it’s just the two of you, he can sit right next to you. It’s much easier and more fun to talk this way. Now, you might have to lay down a few laws about who is allowed to touch the radio and air conditioning buttons, but other that that, it’s more fun to travel with another passenger this way. (And you feel less like a chauffeur when you are not the only person up front, let me tell you.)

10. YOU WILL LOVE THEM MORE THAN EVER BEFORE

I know if your son is small now, you can’t imagine what it’s like when his feet will be bigger than yours, and he needs deodorant. Just thinking about it might make you sad because he won’t be the same sweet little guy who wants to cuddle with you anymore. Even if this list hasn’t convinced you that the best is yet to come, do not fear. When you look in his eyes or see him smile, believe me, he is still every bit your little guy. You will still see the same boy who loved Thomas the Tank Engine and didn’t get the hang of potty training until you used M&Ms for rewards. The great thing is, now in his profile, in the way he carries himself, and in the way he treats others, you can start to get little glimpses of the man he is becoming, too. It’s amazing.

So, let’s celebrate the preteen boy! All the benefits of a real teenager… minus the attitude and ability to drive!

Can You Ever Fully Cure a Case Of Volunteeritis?

Posted on September 10, 2012 by The Dose of Reality

It has been about two years since Lisa and I first joined forces and ran our school’s annual car raffle. Last year I wrote a cautionary tale about our experience, and we think it is worth a reposting now. I am here to tell you a full year later that much of it still rings true.

What is Volunteeritis?

Symptoms may include, but are not limited to:

• Always saying yes, even when you want to say no.

• Taking on too many projects at once.

• Neglecting your children under the guise of… “Aren’t I so great for doing all of this FOR you and your school/club/association/project?”

Back to school! Are we all settling in yet? Have the hours your child is in the classroom become the greatest part of your day? [Yes! -Lisa] Do you suddenly find yourself with some free time, and in the middle of it, realize you actually *gasp* miss your kids? If the answer to any or all of the above questions is yes, then you are the perfect audience for this column! [I *knew* it! -Lisa]

VolunteeritisPic1

Prescription for Volunteeritis:
Take a nap and call me in the morning!

I have a feeling that you, like me, will soon find yourself at one or two upcoming Parents’ Nights, a scattering of PTA meetings, or a few Back-to-School events where you will be conveniently placed at some point in front of a table loaded with various sheets labeled “Parent Volunteer Requests.” Or if you are lucky, your school will have embraced technology and be using Volunteer Spot.

Some of these requests will be simple like, “Who can bring plastic-ware for the fall class party?” Some will be a little more involved like, “Who will be the class photographer for the holiday party?” And then there will be a few seemingly harmless requests in there that will *appear* doable (because this is how they will be presented to you) when in actuality they could wind up sucking the life out of you and additionally could have your husband and children considering whether or not you are really of vital importance to the family. [Don’t worry, you are. Dance leotards don’t wash themselves. -Lisa]

I am here today to offer a cautionary tale to help you steer clear of “volunteering” your life away, or at the very least, to let you know that you are not alone if you are already entrenched in one of these “doable” parent volunteering tasks.

I happen to be, despite how it might seem thus far, a fan of volunteering. One could say I am a bit of an eager beaver, a hard worker, or a go-getter, a personality trait that anyone running any type of project seems to be able to smell from a mile away. I am the perfect candidate for school-related tasks, because I am an involved mom who takes pride in my children’s schools and genuinely wants to be helpful. [aka- a sucker! -Lisa] I started slowly – when I got involved from day one at Emma’s school, it was under the heading “Bring Plastic-ware to Holiday Party” that I’d sign my name, but little by little, the projects I “agreed to” began to increase in size and scope, until last year I found myself co-chairing our school’s annual car raffle with Lisa.

Tickets in a basket

It was sold to both of us as a project that would take place mostly the following spring and as long as we were organized and prepared, it would pretty much run itself. Famous last words, right? [Yep. “This project runs itself” is the volunteer equivalent of “I’ve got a bridge to sell you” -Lisa] Strangely enough, we found ourselves at a car raffle meeting before school was even out … you know, like a solid nine months before we had been told we would have any work to do. You could say that was our fault, because we were eager to get some information ahead of the curve so we could be organized and prepared.

But here is the thing that we were not prepared for at all, not even a little bit: This little car raffle, the raffle that was supposed to run on auto-pilot? It did not even have an auto-pilot button, nor, it turned out, a working engine. Due to an unforeseen complication early on, we pretty much had to start at zero and revamp the entire process so that the raffle could actually raise money for the school. So no longer was this going to be only a spring project, but more likely one that required a fair amount of work in the fall, as well. No problem, though, because we stupidly kept thinking that the more organized we were, the more stuff we did early, the less there would be to do at the end.

Yeah … ummm, no.

It should be noted at this point that I am what some might consider a little on the, how do you say it gently, competitive side. So, when we took on this challenge, I pretty much told Lisa that I would do it with her, but ONLY if we agreed from the beginning that we would run the most successful car raffle the school had ever seen. She was all, “Yeah, I am sure it will be good, we can definitely make it a success,” but didn’t seem to get my level of intensity. [A few games of Scattergories later, I had a bit of an idea. -Lisa]

By the end, she definitely wished she had listened a little more carefully that day. So, our little car raffle, that was only going to require work in the spring, started the prior May (albeit briefly), got a little more involved by October (you know, the season called fall) and by January (yes, that would be WINTER) literally had us working on some aspect of it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

We gave up our Spring Break completely to stuff envelopes, print labels, and put together packets. [Thank you, corner booth at Panera Bread, for being our official Car Raffle headquarters. -Lisa] To our credit, we managed to throw an amazing kick-off pep rally for the raffle sales, which earned us plenty of kudos from the students and the staff, and honestly when you have worked that hard on something, it is quite personally gratifying to be told that you did a great job.

The closest we will ever come to being Oprah on her “Favorite Things” show was telling a gym full of school kids that by selling tickets they could win a gift certificate to Ben & Jerry’s! [The kids were actually even more excited than the Oprah audience below! Free Ben & Jerry’s definitely leads to hysteria the elementary school set! -Lisa]

We then spent every single day of the following three weeks counting tickets, spending way too much of our own money at Starbucks [Our happiest place on earth -Lisa], passing out prizes, counting money, and checking and doubling checking spreadsheets … until the final week, which honestly culminated in so many tickets being turned in at once that we counted from 8:30am until 3:30pm, and then resumed from 8pm until 2am, only to begin again the next morning.

But in the end, we did it.

We did accomplish arguably the most successful car raffle in school history. We started and we finished. We had some fantastic help along the way, but really mostly, we had each other, and I cannot imagine having done it with anyone else. [Me either, friend! -Lisa]

Lisa and I both vowed it would be years before we would volunteer again. But much like “the mommy amnesia” that allows you to forget the trials of pregnancy and life with a newborn thus allowing you to have another baby, here we are two years later back on the volunteer scene. We both have a bi-weekly gig in the front office, we have both signed up for numerous party duties in the classroom, AND Lisa has even agreed to be a class parent for Lucy’s class. But we are out of the car raffle business. Permanently.