We Do Want THIS “Cole” in Our Stocking

We gave up TV.

No, not watching it. We’re still alive. We just gave up writing about it.

We were burned by The Bachelor-and not the kind of burning The Bachelor usually gives you that is easily cured by a strong dose of penicillin. No. This was serious.

The Bachelor overlord and evil dream crusher, Mike Fleiss, didn’t choose Arie as the next Bachelor.

unfair

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were devastated. We took time off to lick our wounds (and watched the Arie kissing video about 100 times). We vowed NEVER to get so involved in a TV show again.

Until now.

You see, although we haven’t been writing about our latest TV obsession, we are totally caught up in its spell, and we don’t care who knows it!

 

It’s THE VOICE!

Yes, we’ve written about The Voice many times before, but this time is special. This time we are *really* smitten.

 

 

No, we’re not taken with a new animal Cee Lo has brought to the table. This season his wrangler must be on vacay because we’ve seen nary a beast in his lap or on his shoulder. (Although his stylist has been on a roll. His ensemble for the last episode had an Emperor Palpatine meets Zorro flair done exclusively in black leather. It was fantastic.)

It’s not with Christina, although she seems to be remembering to wear crotch covering separates now more than in any previous season. She’s even made a real effort to be NICE to the contestants. It must be killing her.

It’s not even with People Magazine’s reigning “Sexiest Man Alive” Adam, although he continues to bring his soprano voiced enthusiasm to the table (and a current Brylcreem’d hairdo that is bordering on Jimmy Neutron levels of pompadour height).

Best Tweet EVAH

Actual Tweet by our friend Gayle who is @dogmagayle on Twitter. She’s awesome!

 

 

It isn’t even that OUR VERY OWN TWITTER HANDLE made it onto the televised broadcast (although that was certainly thrilling)!

 

 

 

 

Nope!! We are totally Team Blake this season!! More specifically, we absolutely LOVE his honey voiced, unique, guitar playing, uber talented contestant…

We ADORE him.

Originally Cole was on Team Cee Lo. Thank goodness for Cee Lo’s excellent ear because he was the only chair that turned for Cole! Can you imagine?! After the Knock Out Round both Adam and Blake tried to steal him, but Cole chose Blake!

The show has SO much talent this season. We think James Wolpert is absolutely amazing, and we loved Matthew Schuler who went home last week. They were our ultimate, dream Top 3.

But our hearts (and iPod playlists) are dominated by Cole.

His voice is like butter. It’s soulful and gorgeous. Cole sings with so much heart and emotion, it just draws you in. When we finish listening to one of his songs, we want to hit the replay button immediately. We just never get tired on his laid-back take on every single song he does. On top of that, he seems to be a genuinely nice person.

Now, we’d be enchanted by Cole and his beautiful voice even if he had the smooth cheeks of a newborn baby but, we have to admit, we really dig his hirsute look. We’re just nuts about his beard. His beard is so glorious it has its own Twitter account. In fact, @Coles_Beard has over 10 times more Twitter followers than the next most famous beard we know- Uncle Si’s Beard. Those are some powerful hair follicles right there!!

cole's grandma

 

Cole even has the sweetest Grandmother who is always in the audience to hear her boy sing. She’s always talking with and being supportive to the other contestants’ families, too.

Isn’t she ADORBS?!

 

 

If you aren’t watching The Voice this season (But wait…why aren’t you? Don’t you like talent, entertainment, and adorable Meemaws?), you need to be watching for Cole Vosbury. He’s singing tonight for a coveted spot in next week’s Finale. We want our Cole to go ALL THE WAY and win this thing!

So get on the #ColeTrain and join us tonight. We cannot let Cole down. We’ve already been traumatized enough by the fact that Arie isn’t going to be the next Bachelor. (A whole season of Juan Pablo…REALLY, FLEISS? What did we ever do to you? *sob*)

We are totally due for a television win, Santa, and we’ve been so good this year! (okay…we’ve been “good-ish”) A win for Cole Vosbury is exactly the kind of “Cole” we *do* want in our stocking this year!!

Cole in our Stockings

 

Racism For Ratings: Big Brother 15

You could not meet two bigger Big Brother fans than The Dose Girls. The one thing that keeps us going in the summer is the arrival of another new season.

Ashley the Mega Fan and Shirt

Each summer CBS picks 16 strangers to live in a house and be filmed 24 hours a day in this game show. Think of MTV’s The Real World meets Survivor, and you’ll get the idea. Each week a houseguest is voted out until one is crowned the winner and receives the $500,000 grand prize. Not only is there a prime time show that airs three times a week, but for reality TV addicts like us, it’s even better. You can purchase a subscription to uncensored, unedited, live internet feeds from the house that run 24/7.

 

The live internet feed *really* gives you access to what is going on in the house…boy, does it ever.

This summer we anxiously awaited the start of this season and got our subscription to the live feeds. What we saw there this season turned our stomachs. Just one week into the show, we both cancelled our subscriptions to the feeds and dropped the show from our viewing schedule in disgust.

What happened?

You see, this year the cast is chock full of racists.

Although the prime time broadcast has been carefully edited to show almost none of it, the dozens of cameras and microphones placed around for the live internet feeds have picked up *many* cast members saying some of the most vile things we’ve ever heard. No, not just on TV- we mean ANYWHERE.

A few weeks ago the media picked up the story. Under this pressure, CBS was eventually forced to mention some of the racial slurs on the show. They decided to make it seem like one houseguest, Aaryn, was the only person engaging in this behavior. Oh, she definitely was, but she was *far* from the only one.

They neglected to let us know that the Asian American contestant has been told to “shut up and make rice”, and it had been said that smacking her in the head might straighten her eyes. An African American contestant was accused of acting “too white” and soiling bed linens with her blackness. Another time they joked she should, “Cook us some pancakes, Aunt Jemima.” Oh, and one cast member even praised the efforts of doctors in Nazi Germany for giving us medical breakthroughs due to their concentration camp experiments.

No Harmony in Big Brother 15

If you want to be thoroughly disgusted you can click here to see a transcript of some of the specific comments that have been made. Here is a compilation video of some of the awful video moments. Here is another. They are horrific. You’ve been warned.

Here’s the thing. Except for showing a few brief moments of what only one contestant did when they were forced into it by the media attention, the producers are hiding all of this from the public. They are pretending they have outed the one person doing it, and they’ve totally moved on.

They have not shown Amanda calling the African American contestant “Shaniqua” or referring to her as “the monkey”. They didn’t show GinaMarie saying the same contestant should do the laundry like “in The Help” giggling all the while. They have not put any of these or countless other statements on the actual TV show.

In fact, they go out of their way to make Amanda seem like a really nice person and GinaMarie seem like a silly, funny girl on the TV show. They have made sure that the TV show Amanda and GinaMarie bear no real-life resemblance to who they absolutely show themselves to be on the live feeds. None. If you only watched the TV show and not the live feeds, you’d never even know this was still going on at all.

“Good!”, you might think, “Nobody wants to see that!”

No, nobody does. But by not showing this side of these people to America, they are whitewashing what is happening in the house. They are doing absolutely *nothing* to stop it and are thus passively condoning it-and making a good deal of money from it while doing so.

Simply pretending it’s not happening does not means it’s not happening.

Just ask Howard. This is him coping behind closed doors after some blatant racist remarks were made. He’s alone. He’s praying for strength to hold it together while nobody else even knows it’s happening. It’s heartbreaking.

This makes us sick and enraged. All too frequently that’s how racism is handled in our country. We pretend it’s not happening so we don’t have to confront it and deal with it. Instead, we all make excuses and shove racism under the carpet and deny its existence. Racism is dead because we have a African American president! It only remains in older people from a certain era in the south! If we pay lip service to it one time, we’ve done all we need to do. Get over it!

But we can’t get over it. In reality, racism is alive and well in America. We don’t do ourselves any favors as a society if we deny that. These cast members are a cross section of America and what’s happening out there. They hail from all over the country. They are young and educated. They are a part of the newly “enlightened” generation.

The only way to begin to combat these issues is to bring them out into the open. Denial isn’t going to cut it. We’ve got to shine a light on this ugliness so we can see it and root it out. Only by doing so can we start a truthful dialogue and get to work. And a lot of work needs to be done. This is reality, and we need to face it in order to change it. Anything else is unacceptable.

Sunshine

“Arie” Watching This Season Of The Bachelorette?

It’s that exciting time of year, folks! THIS IS THE PREMIERE NIGHT OF ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF….THE BACHELOR!!

Okay, not really. It’s The Bachelor’s demon offspring, The Bachelorette. Oh, we’ll still be watching of course, but we have to admit The Bachelorette doesn’t have quite the same “sparkle” quotient as it’s blue chip counterpart.

This season features the lovely bachelorette Danielle Dominique Desdemona-oh, whatever her name is. She was never one of our favorites. (Which is probably why HOTSEAN! rejected her in the end)

We are absolutely sure there will be intrigue, heartbreak, and drunken frat party antics this season, but that’s not why we’re *really* watching this time.

We have ulterior motives…and a job for you to do for which you will be greatly rewarded both onscreen and off!

Our goal-our quest if you will-is to use Drucilla’s season of The Bachelorette to accomplish one task and one task only:

Those of you who are new readers might not know this, but The Dose of Reality is all about Arie Luyendyk Jr. when it comes to The Bachelor. He’s dashing, sexy, smart, funny, and it just so happens that kissing is his best thing. If there was an Olympic medal for kissing, he’d be on the podium listening to the National Anthem with a gold medal around his neck. That’s the level of kissing mastery we’re talking about here.

(Did you click on those hyperlinks in the previous paragraph? You need to….no you REALLY need to if you’re going to join our mission. We’ll wait.)

Ever since he was cruelly cast aside by Emily in her season of The Bachelorette (see, this is why you can’t trust The Bachelorettes) we’ve been using every available opportunity making small attempts here and there to ensure Arie is the next Bachelor.

But now we’re ready to take it to the next level. This is where you come in.

For real, y’all! We kid around about a lot of things, but NOT about Arie.

Now, we know you’d want to help us out of the goodness of your own heart (and because of your own Arie love obvi), but we want to sweeten the pot and give one of our fantastic readers the gift package of a lifetime.

Interested? You should be!

We want you, our precious Dose Peeps, to help us campaign for Arie to be the next Bachelor. No, we’re not kidding. Yes, we mean it.

All you need to do is tweet this post to Arie and/or to the Executive Producer of the entire Bachelor Empire, Mike Fleiss.

Stumped on what to say? NO PROBLEM!! Here are some sample tweets that you can cut and paste:

You must read this @ariejr ! The future of kissing depends on it! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/05/27/arie/ ‎ Help @TheDoseTweets, help you! #TheBachelorette

We want @ariejr as the next #Bachelor! Make it happen @fleissmeister ! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/05/27/arie/ ‎All of us @TheDoseTweets are counting on you!

~@ariejr you must be the next Bachelor. RT this or Cupid will get a canker sore! https://www.thedoseofreality.com/2013/05/27/arie/ Help @TheDoseTweets keep hope alive!

Or…you can devise a tweet of your own, if you prefer. To be entered for the prize, though, you must include both @TheDoseTweets and either @ariejr or @fleissmeister in the tweet.

You will get one entry in the prize pack giveaway for each tweet. There is no limit to the amount of entries you can accumulate. If you do 5000 tweets you will have 5000 entries. We’re just saying, you can determine your own fate based on how fast you can type. In this case less is not more.

Want to know what you can win? (besides the pleasure of seeing Arie on your screen for two hours every week if our genius plan works)

Ultimate Kissing Prize Pack

The Ultimate Kissing Prize Pack will include (but is not limited to):

  • Lip balm (Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers if we can find them)
  • Breath mints (probably Altoids Smalls depending on Walgreens stock)
  • An autographed 6×8 photo card of Arie in his racing gear (if we win the ebay auction…fingers crossed!)
  • A cut out of Arie himself which will be handmade by us and laminated as long as Kinkos doesn’t charge an arm and a leg. (This will be your own personal “Flat Arie” for photo ops and kissing practice) ♥♥
  • There will be more goodies as well! You never know what we might find at Party City or Dollar Tree. The sky’s the limit!**

**Actual Arie, unfortunately, is not included. We aren’t affiliated with ABC or The Bachelor in any official capacity. We don’t book his appearances. In fact, the restraining order stipulates we must stay 100 feet from Mr. Luyendyk, Jr. at all times.

♥♥ Simulated “Flat Arie” photograph to illustrate potential photo op possibilities:

This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ends on Friday, May 31st at 10 pm EST. So act fast! The winner will be drawn using random.org and will be contacted via Twitter on Saturday, June 1st. We will announce the winner to the world in a very special post on Monday, June 3rd. You know you want it to be you!

Good luck and happy tweeting!!

P.S. You didn’t *really* think we’d end this post without giving you what you came for, did you? Enjoy…

 

 

Home Alone 5: The Blogger Edition

This week is Spring Break for us. Lisa has decided to abandon me take a much deserved vacation with her family. Instead of sitting around feeling insanely jealous bitter hostile unhappy about being left behind to entertain my children all week at home alone (meaning without my bestie to call me daily and entertain me), I decided to look at it as an opportunity to let loose.

Did Tom Cruise cry into his pillow and text his parents that he missed them every two seconds when they went away for the weekend? I don’t think so. He did what any rational person would do (he used to be rational you know) and stripped down to his undies while rocking it out.

Since I strongly oppose my own public nakedness, I won’t take it that far, but I will push the envelope so to speak.

It’s like when your hubby is out of town and you are all, “Third bowl of Lucky Charms and a three hour Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon, don’t mind if I do.” Sure you pay for it a bit the next morning when the kids wake you up at dawn, but oh it is worth it for those glorious hours of gluttony and brain wasting!

So this week, I might go a little crazy around here.

Lisa insists less is more, so she puts a 2 time a day limit on my celebrity tweeting. But this week is all me, all the time! If I want to tweet Arie our Bachelor post 50 times a day, who is going to stop me? P.S. Y’all should really tweet it to him, too, m’kay! Tell him we sent you!

Lisa’s always trying to reign in my complete obsession absolutely normal feelings for Ben Affleck! (He was totally robbed of the Oscar nomination for Best Director, y ‘all). Imagine her surprise when I take all the pennies big bucks we have made from blogging and buy a billboard on Hollywood Blvd. telling him that I was his first fan all the way back to Chasing Amy. Bet that’ll show her.

Sneaking over to Lisa’s house and using her hide-a-key to film a vlog where we go through her closet? Just say the word, and I will do it.

She tells me all the time that driving by Angie Harmon’s neighborhood (Angie totally lives in Charlotte, and could easily become my friend!) more than once a week is probably frowned upon. Well, this week is *my* Spring Break, too, Lisa, so maybe I will make it THREE times A DAY. There’s nobody here to say, “Blah, blah, blah restraining order” now!

I could even “accidentally” publish some of my favorite emails from Lisa that she sends to entertain me. Hey, that could be a whole post in and of itself. Looks like we have Thursday taken care of!

Finally, there has been something I have been dying to say on the blog for a while now. Sure, it might lose us some readers, but you know what…I don’t even care! Brace yourselves:

BlackedOutText

(Whoa!!! Hello there, gentle readers! Thank goodness this hotel has WiFi! I thought it was best to redact that last paragraph. Ashley really didn’t mean it. She truly loves everyone. She’s just feeling a little tired and lonely. Don’t worry, I’ll be home on Friday. Until then, just write something soothing in the comments, okay? -Lisa)

And you know what? Since I finally got that off my chest, this image underscores my feelings perfectly. You’re welcome readers!

fe6ca107213bb48dfa64a6c544348e62

 

 

(Yikes!! That other picture was deeply unfortunate. Please enjoy this adorable winky kitty from our “Squee” Pinterest Board instead. -Lisa)

 

 

 

So watch out world. Ashley is all alone with the keys to the blog and if you thought what I just said was over the top, just you wait. There is plenty more where that came from!