petpeeves Archives - The Dose of Reality

My husband got a standing ovation at Starbucks…and it irks me.

Lucy goes to ballet twice a week. Because we have two kids and have to divide and conquer with the chauffeur duties, my husband Robert sometimes drives her to class. A mandatory part of taking her to ballet class is making sure her hair is in a bun before you drop her off. She can’t quite manage it on her own yet, so she needs a little help.

Because my husband doesn’t wear buns (or much head hair at all for that matter), I had to school him up on the whole “making a bun” process. This took several sessions, and I even had to modify my usual technique for his giant sausage fingers. He eventually mastered it (I tested him and everything), and he can now produce a perfect bun in under 10 minutes flat.

It’s nice to have a husband who isn’t afraid to tackle the really difficult parenting tasks like preteen hairdos! Isn’t it fantastic?!

YAY!!

Except NO!

Here’s how it all went wrong…

Lisa: Robert just got back from ballet with Lucy, and I’m so perturbed!

Ashley: Oh, no! Did he get her there late?

Lisa: No. He was totally on time.

Ashley: Did he forget to send her with her ballet bag?

Lisa: No. She had all her shoes and gear.

Ashley: Well, I can certainly see why you are so upset. THE NERVE!

Lisa: Ha, ha, ha. When you hear the injustice that has taken place you will feel my pain.

Ashley: I’m always up for a good rant. Lay it on me, sister.

Lisa: He picked her up from school and, since they had 30 minutes to kill before ballet started, they stopped at Starbucks.

Ashley: Aw, don’t be upset! You take her to Starbucks all the time. She knows you’re the “fun one” too. Sometimes.

Lisa: No, I have no problem with *that*. I would not begrudge them Starbucks goodness. It’s what happened there that has me irritated.

Ashley: Did they forget to bring you a latte?

Lisa: Well, now that you mention it, yes, but this is even worse!

Ashley: Worse than depriving you of a latte? Oh, man!!

Lisa: Oh, yes. After she changed into her leotard in the restroom, he got to work putting her hair in a bun.

Ashley: Okaaaay….

Lisa: Well, after he performed the bun procedure I so carefully taught him, the craziest thing happened. An elderly couple at a neighboring table actually STOOD UP AND STARTED CLAPPING FOR HIM, and not in an ironic way. They were clapping and cheering because he was able to put her hair in a bun. Basically, they gave him a standing ovation because he was parenting, FFS.

Ashley: NO!

Lisa: YES! And here’s the worst part. Once that table stood up FIVE OTHER TABLES DID, TOO! It spread throughout the whole shop. My favorite barista, Mark, even did one of those really loud whistles with his fingers. They were all going nuts and telling him what a great dad he was because he put her hair in a damn bun. I have literally done this millions of times with no accolades whatsoever.

Ashley: In fact, doesn’t she normally complain that you aren’t gentle enough?

Lisa: Yes.

Ashley: I am full of rage on your behalf! That is SO unfair! Did he at least have the good sense to be embarrassed by the display?

Lisa: Ugh, no! He was *so* proud of himself. I think he might have even taken a bow. He couldn’t wait to tell me all about it!

Isn’t that always the way it goes?

Moms are expected to do it all. Cooking and cleaning-check. Planning birthday parties and getting the school supplies-of course. Laying out the clothes and packing the lunches-duh. All the things.

Do moms get an “attagirl” for showing their basic parenting chops? Pfftt. The usual response showing up to carpool on time isn’t, “Aw! It’s so sweet that you picked her up!” (Totally what they say to dads.) It’s more like, “You need to pull closer to the curb in the future. Also, turn off your engine if you’re idling.”

So the next time you see a mom out there keeping a toddler from licking a trash can, while identifying dinosaur species for a preschooler, and simultaneously checking long division with a preteen, consider standing up and giving her a round of applause. You know nobody else will…unless she changes her name to “dad”.

Have you ever witnessed this hideous phenomenon? Tell us your tale of woe…or your own parenting pet peeve!

You know what, everyone is all over the interwebs declaring their new found goals for the coming year. Something about the flip of the calendar makes any thing seem possible. Maybe this year will be different!

We get it. We got in on the action with our Friday Feasts Pinterest Challenge. Clearly, we are on the road to a new year, new you philosophy ourselves. Well, until we decide it is too much work and go back to ordering pizza four times a week!

Thanks to Monday Listicles we were asked to think of ten things we had no intention of changing in 2013. Not a problem. We could have thought of twenty.

But the rule is ten. So, we stuck with that. We are, after all, rule followers by nature.

1. Starbucks- You know what, between Starbucks and Target, we are in our happy place. Imagine our delight when we find the Targets that contain Starbucks. Yeah, that is called heaven. Reading a fantastically awesome blog post the other day by our friend Britton, we found ourselves horrified at how many calories our favorite drinks contained. It’s like we’re drinking a whole meal… if your meal has a LOT of calories. *sob* Naturally, it left us questioning whether we should continue to indulge. Are the massive calories really worth it? Duh. Yes.

2. Participating in Monday Listicles as often as possible- The topics are fun, and we always enjoy thinking outside the box when it comes to this fun meme. Plus, it is fun to read what other bloggers add to their lists!

3. Our addiction to reality TV- After all, if not for shows like The Bachelor (now with Hot Sean! Yay!) how would we ever figure out exactly what a luxury brand consultant does for a living? And obviously, we will not be giving up The Voice, even if we can no longer look forward to what satin pajamas Cee-Lo will be wearing until the new season starts in March. We know it’s not cool or high-brow to watch these shows, but they make us too happy to care.

4. Tackling current events- We are both news junkies. We talk about politics and current events nonstop with each other. Sometimes, they must be discussed here on the blog. And dissected. And analyzed. Even though, we are not journalists, we are mothers, we are wives, we are women, we have a voice, and we plan to keep using it.

5. Keeping it real- If we can’t be honest about our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly, then we really aren’t living up to our blog motto at all, are we? So, we promise you all that 2013 will be spent exposing more of the deep, dark realities of our lives! Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

6. Giving back- We feel really strongly about using whatever platform we have for good whenever possible. It seems like there is just so much need. If we all get together and chip away at it little by little, we can make a difference. One of our very favorite bloggers (and people) Chrysula Winegar says it best: When you wake up a mother, you wake up the world. Absolutely.

7. Our number of pet peeves- As we get older, we seem to be getting crankier when it comes to the things that irritate us. Parents who ignore carpool rules. Ugh. Your time is not more valuable than ours! When someone describes a dad watching his own children as “babysitting”. GAH! We know they have the Y chromosome to contend with and all, but they are still parenting like the rest of us. We guess we’re just gearing up for our cantankerous, little old lady phase that will hit in a decade or two (give or take).

8. Our fashion sense- Fortunately this blogging gig doesn’t require fancy work duds because we’d cry and cry. On any given day, at least one of us has on clogs and/or yoga pants most likely with a shirt that has a hole in it. It is just our way. They used to call this “giving up”. Nah. That’s not it. We are just being true to ourselves…and ourselves want to be comfortable.

9. Our screen time- We’ve heard several people make resolutions to spend less time in front of the computer and more time just being in the moment. You know, less time pinning and status updating and more time being unplugged. Well, not us! We love the unnatural glow of the screen. If we didn’t check out Facebook several times a day we’d laugh a lot less and without Pinterest we’d never know 50 ways to tie a scarf or know that there is an apparatus to make a hamburger into a hot dog shape. Plus, it’s really hard to type a blog post if you don’t turn the computer on.

10. Agreeing on one of the most important questions of our time- Sometimes when it comes to the really important stuff, you’ve just got to agree to disagree. No matter how many times we revisit this topic, we just can’t come to the same conclusion. We can go back and forth for hours. We’ve each decided that, although the other is completely deluded, we will look past it and remain friends. (Until the other one finally comes to her senses!)

MondayListicles