It is no secret that Lisa is the queen of gift-giving. I don’t even bother to attempt to compete, which is why her gifts from me usually suck and my gifts from her rock!
Every partnership has its strengths and weaknesses, so she accepts for me the lame gift giver, poor wrapper that I am.
But this year, y’all, she knocked it out of the park.
Who would have ever imagined that she could top the Ryan Gosling Mini-Bust? (RGMB for short).
Fine, maybe *not* top it (because there is only one RGMB…no, seriously, I own the only one on the entire planet earth), but definitely match it in awesomeness.
Behold my gifts from this Christmas: A “Hey Girl” Ryan Gosling notebook (to go with my RGMB) and a very special bracelet…
The Starbucks cup was not part of the gift, by the way. Neither was the car clutter. The rest, though? All the magic of the awesome Dose Girl Lisa.
Here is the deal. I actually used my Hey Girl notebook while sitting in my car with my RGMB in his spot…that is where he lives, by the way. The children know that they may greet him upon getting into the vehicle and if they are really good they can pet his head. But only on special occasions. Any lint accidentally removed hurts RGMB’s feelings. He told me so.
I totally wrote this concept in my notebook while also sporting my MILF bracelet. Oh yes, I wear it every single day.
Just in case you are not aware of our Dose Girl MILF-dom, go read this post right now. And watch the video. And then read the comments. Turns out there are a lot of MILFs out there. Who knew?
Don’t listen to the haters out there who try to tell you that being a *real* MILF means wearing a string bikini sans cellulite at age 45. They are all just jealous of our amazing combination of stretch marks and elastic waistband marks from our SPANX.
What if we decided to start a MILF club?
Like the Skull & Bones of the adult women set?
Picture this scenario: You are at Target in your yoga pants and you spot another mom in her yoga pants, too. Except she looks like she could have actually come from hot yoga. You feel a little hostile until the moment she flashes you her wrist (my friend Pam said that the MILF bracelet can be like a sorority pin) as she swipes her Red Card for her $147.28 worth of toilet paper and toothpaste. And then you realize she is JUST like you. You meet eyes and wind up sharing a latte at Starbucks where you compare your cankles.
Instant friendship.
For women everywhere this could be a revolution. MILF clubs popping up nationwide. Watch out Real Housewives, there is a new reality TV franchise in town!
All I know is this. Since I started wearing my own personal MILF bracelet, I have sprouted three new chin hairs. Clearly, this is giving me magic powers and making my MILF status go all the way to eleven.
