Dubstep Archives - The Dose of Reality

We’re An American Band…or ARE We?

Posted on May 12, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

I’ve known for quite sometime that Ashley is not exactly your “go-to” person for music. She is, after all, a person who gleefully listens to Richard Marx and Michael Bolton on a daily basis. No, you’re not in a time warp. It’s still 2013.

While her love of 80’s music is legendary, I thought she still KNEW about other kinds of music. You know, in a common knowledge kind of way at least.

I found out I was wrong during a phone call last week….

Ashley: I just read this article and it had the funniest band names. You wouldn’t believe some of these are real!!

Me: Read them to me! I need a good laugh!

Ashley: Did you know there is a band called Porno for Pyros???

Me: Sure.That’s the band Perry Farrell formed after Jane’s Addiction broke up.

Ashley: Oh, well what about THIS one? It’s so stupid! The White Stripes!

Me: Yep. Jack White and his ex Meg. LOVE him. He dated Renee Zellweger. How can you not know him? He’s totally awesome.

Ashley: Hmmm…well there is no WAY you know this one, smarty pants! I think it may even be made up! Stone Temple Pilots!!! Hahahahahaha.

Me: Oh, dear.

See what I mean??!!

So when we saw this week’s Listicle idea “10 Real or Imagined Band Names” from Rachee, we were fully on board!

Below you will find 10 bands. Five of them are REAL. Five of them are FAKE.

See if you can identify which is which. I didn’t make this easy by giving you names like Radiohead or Fugees (two more bands Ashley has never heard of. Bless.) I wanted to make this challenging for people who have purchased music since 1988.

#1 The Banana Hammocks: This high octane rock band boasts nine of the baddest RAWK musicians to come out of Orange County, California this decade! Part of the LJG records family since 2010, their 2013 World Tour boasts 193 dates in 27 countries with the final show opening the MTV Europe VMA Awards!

#2 The Electric Jug Band: Their fans, aka the Jugnation, describe their sound as “Americana mixed with rockabilly funk jam”. These eclectic musicians from Michigan have been known to hand out shakers and other hand percussion instruments to the audience so they can join in the fun.

#3 The Parade Flamingos: These five friends from South Florida started playing in lead singer Jimmy Longo’s garage in 2003. Since then they’ve taken their Jazz fusion/psycho punk sound all across the country even playing a side stage at the Warped Tour in 2012.

#4 Tha Whooliganz: This 1990s hip hop duo met as teenagers in Beverly Hills and gained recognition around the LA area eventually landing a record deal at Tommy Boy Records. Scott “Mad Skillz” Caan and Alan “Mudfoot” Maman eventually parted ways in the late 90s, but Maman has experienced music success producing under the moniker The Alchemist.

#5 Ring Around the Rosie: This trio of sisters grew up in the tiny town of Apache, Oklahoma. Their folk sound was born when they began harmonizing together in their church’s children’s choir. Having toured with the Dixie Chicks and Shawn Colvin, they are booked at folk venues across the country this summer including the legendary Crossroads Music House.

#6 Gloat: This speed/thrash metal band from Norway claims Venom and Motorhead as early influences. Although performing under a variety of names in the early 2000s, they settled on Gloat in 2009 after hearing the song of the same name by Animals on Wheels.

#7 Bassnectar: This California based DJ is well known in the dubstep genre for his light shows and live performances. One of his most successful tracks, entitled “Ping Pong”, actually begins with the sound of ping pong balls being hit across a table.

#8 The Crazy Katies: Punk rock didn’t know what hit it when these Riot Grrrls got together in London, England in 2007. Since then, they’ve taken the world by storm and have performed in Europe, North America, and Japan. Their irrepressible energy and noisy, distorted sound are their trademarks along with the shredded schoolgirl uniforms they wear during their performances.

#9 The Hen House Junkies: Described by Country Line Magazine as “old-school country with a bluegrass soul ” they formed after meeting as studio musicians in Nashville, Tennessee. Between the five band members, they play twelve instruments all of which are on display in their album to be release this fall entitled “Granny Get Your Gun”

#10 Angry Beaver Band: Known as simply “ABB” to their most stalwart fans, these four average Joes got their name while driving through the town of Beaver on a fall Wisconsin afternoon. With Wingnut on vocals and Pablo on strings, their mellow hit “Dead End” from their Shack Session recordings promises to make 2013 their breakout year!

Could you spot the 5 real bands and the 5 fakers?

**CLICK HERE FOR THE ANSWERS**

So, how did it go? Here’s a handy key to help you keep it in perspective. Just count how many bands you got right and see which category you fit in:

0: Clearly your name is Ashley.

1-3: Time to realize that there is music outside of “Total Eclipse Of The Heart”.

4-6: You wouldn’t totally embarrass yourself at group karaoke night.

7-9: Watch out Rock-n-Roll Jeopardy, there is a new player in town!

10: You Googled, didn’t you?

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Posted on April 3, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

101

It’s official!! The Dose of Reality has its first teenager!! Whoo Hoo and oh, boy! Today is Bobby’s 13th birthday! In his honor, we’ve decided to re-run this post from last year about the pleasures of having a preteen boy around the house. Even though he’s crossed the threshold and is now an official teenager, all of these still apply (so far)…

As we all know, there are many stages of childhood. With each comes some wonderful things and some…well…not so wonderful things. The pros and cons let’s say. As the mother of a 12 ½ year old son, Bobby, who is *this* close to teenhood (teendom? teenagery?), I feel qualified to spread the word about this stage for boys.

The downsides of having a preteen aged son are well documented—the smells, the messiness, the sheer volume of Axe Body Spray that must be purchased—yes, but those are things I’ll save for another day. Today I’d like to tell you about the good things, the GREAT things actually, about having a preteen son. These don’t get quite as much airtime as they should, and I’m not sure why. It’s a really well kept secret that this stage is LOADS of fun.

1. THEY WILL CARRY THINGS FOR YOU
The preteen male absolutely revels in the fact that he is getting stronger, starting to fill out, and becoming manly (yes, I can ALMOST see that wisp of hair you are calling a mustache, honey). What fun are manly muscles if they are not showing off? None at all it turns out! Everywhere we go, Bobby immediately starts gathering bags or boxes to carry like he is part oxen. I don’t even have to ask. I swear I have not carried a bag out of Target for over a year. He is very proud to heft those bags right out to the car without even putting them in the cart, thank you very much. It is awesome!

2. THEY CAN REACH THE HIGH SHELF FOR YOU
Now, if you are very tall some of you might have to wait a bit for this one, but if you are short like me (I measure in at a shrimpy 5’3” on a good day), this rocks. Bobby has been taller than me for about a year now with a better reach to match. If my husband is not around or is otherwise occupied, guess who is more than happy to reach up to the high shelf for me? You got it. You can practically see him beat his chest like a cave man every time he performs this task. It’s a win-win for us both.

3. THEY ARE FUNNY
You know when a younger child tells you a joke and you laugh and laugh, not because it’s actually hysterical but because they made it up themselves and it’s your parental duty to chuckle? Or maybe you laugh despite the fact that it’s that’s been around so long even your parents are tired of it? Well, those days are over, my friend! Right about now, they start knowing real jokes that are actually funny. Now, these are jokes aren’t always “appropriate” for all types of company, mind you, but they know real honest to goodness ways to make you laugh *on purpose*. Aside from jokes, they totally grasp sarcasm, irony, puns, and can also deliver a deadpan line without cracking a smile. It all begins here!

4. THEY READ GOOD BOOKS
I’ve always been a big reader (find me on GoodReads!), and it turns out that Bobby is as well. When I was little, once you finished children’s books like Little House on the Prairie or Nancy Drew, you were out of luck if you were a reader. You had Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret, then…zilch. There was no Young Adult category like today. I started reading grown up books around 6th grade which was sometimes fine, but more often was not. (Let’s just say I read more Sidney Sheldon than was probably wise.) Now, however, there are fabulous books for young adults—books you will *love*. It was Bobby who told me I should read The Hunger Games trilogy long before any other grown up I knew had heard of it. He also turned me on to The Graveyard Book which introduced me to Neil Gaiman, who is now one of my favorite authors. I, then, told him about the Chaos Walking trilogy, and he returned the favor by having me read the Fablehaven books and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. I know this will only get better and better, and I love it!

5. THEY LIKE GOOD MUSIC
I truly love all kinds of music. You’ll find classical, pop, rock, country, folk, and everything in between on my iPod. I have nothing against Justin Bieber or One Direction. They are absolute staples to my 9 year old daughter, Lucy. But music is important to the preteen boy, and the stuff they listen to is actual music that doesn’t feature a single artist who would be caught dead in Tiger Beat. Bonus points for you if your child plays an instrument (Bobby plays the guitar) because you can get them to learn songs you like. They can finally play well enough that you can even recognize the song. Because of Bobby, my iPod now also has rap and dubstep—yes, I do play them even when I’m alone without a child in sight. This might be counted as a negative for some people, but not for me. If you love music, your preteen will make sure you are up to date on what is good and current right now. Look who’s the coolest mom in carpool!

6. THEY ARE GOOD AT GAMES
I stop the “always letting the kids win” thing with games when kids turn 8 or 9. Now, I’m not saying that I purposefully go all out to stomp them in the ground, but I do quit letting them take multiple turns or changing the rules to suit them. Still, it’s not very competitive, and you can always win if you wish. You are playing games to spend time with them and that’s wonderful, but you can’t play up to your *actual* ability. Right about this stage, though, the preteen boy starts getting good at games and has the ability to go with his burgeoning male confidence. Whether you are talking about board games like Blokus, digital games like Hanging With Friends, or outside fun like shooting hoops, preteens will know what they’re doing. You may still win most of the time, but more and more it takes some actual *doing* and it’s not always a foregone conclusion. If you are somewhat competitive like me, this is fantastic!!

7. THEY CAN GO TO GOOD MOVIES
If you have a child, you will spend more than a few hours of your life in the movie theater watching children’s movies. Some are fantastic and destined to become classics, but some are so awful you deserve a reward (and a cocktail) just for making it to the end. Either way, you will be spending some of your time and money in this way. When boys hit the preteen years, the things they want to see are suddenly things that sound actually enjoyable to you as well. Now, the movies they select will have a definite male bent to them, but they are movies you might actually select for yourself, and there will not be an animated animal in any of them. You’ll happily attend the newest Batman movie, Mission Impossible, or Sherlock Holmes and—get this—you will actually be parenting at the same time. It doesn’t get any better than this!

8. THEY DO ALL THEIR OWN HOMEWORK
When your children are younger there is a fair amount of home work that you, as a parent, are required to spend hours doing. You are expected to turn lowly shoe boxes into adorable Valentine’s Day mailboxes, you have to help create posters and dioramas at the drop of a hat, and you probably have to make sure that all homework tasks are done by the time bed rolls around. You are mostly in charge of the whole deal really. Guess what, that is NOT TRUE of the preteen. A wonderful thing takes place right around middle school. You don’t have to do a damn thing. They start organizing themselves, they know what has been assigned, they are old enough to do any project thrown at them completely independently, and they frankly don’t want your help because they are just beginning to think they know everything. (Score!) Sure they might ask you to quiz them to make sure they know their stuff for the Social Studies test they’ve studied for, but sometimes you can’t even do that. (Hello Spanish! My husband took French, and I took Latin. We are no help at all!) Yes, you will still want to spot check to make sure that they are being neat with assignments (they are still boys, of course), and you will still make sure they are keeping up with all of their subjects. But overall, you don’t have assignments nor are you the one who has to keep track of what needs to be done and when. You will not believe the hours of your life this will allow you to reclaim, and the joy this will afford you. They are truly becoming very capable and self sufficient!

Of course sometimes they are too busy texting to actually talk to you.

9. THEY CAN SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT
Sure, they still spend a decent amount of time in the back seat. (When it’s your turn for carpool duty they want to sit next to their friends so they can talk, of course). But, when it’s just the two of you, he can sit right next to you. It’s much easier and more fun to talk this way. Now, you might have to lay down a few laws about who is allowed to touch the radio and air conditioning buttons, but other that that, it’s more fun to travel with another passenger this way. (And you feel less like a chauffeur when you are not the only person up front, let me tell you.)

10. YOU WILL LOVE THEM MORE THAN EVER BEFORE
I know if your son is small now, you can’t imagine what it’s like when his feet will be bigger than yours, and he needs deodorant. Just thinking about it might make you sad because he won’t be the same sweet little guy who wants to cuddle with you anymore. Even if this list hasn’t convinced you that the best is yet to come, do not fear. When you look in his eyes or see him smile, believe me, he is still every bit your little guy. You will still see the same boy who loved Thomas the Tank Engine and didn’t get the hang of potty training until you used M&Ms for rewards. The great thing is, now in his profile, in the way he carries himself, and in the way he treats others, you can start to get little glimpses of the man he is becoming, too. It’s amazing.

So, let’s celebrate the preteen boy! All the benefits of a real teenager… minus the attitude and ability to drive!

Happy 13th Birthday, Bobby! I can’t believe I have a full-fledged teenager now… and there are only three more years until you can *actually* drive. (gulp)

Hold It Right There, Hombre!

Posted on March 19, 2013 by The Dose of Reality

118

I think it’s finally happened…I am old and out of it.

I don’t know how it happened.

I knew what dubstep music was before any of my friends. I even like it and have some in my workout playlist.

I took Lucy to the hair salon and let her get two of those hair feather things put in when they were all the rage awhile back.

I keep abreast of internet memes. I can recognize Gangnam Style or the Harlem Shake with the best of them. (and I even know the meme Harlem Shake isn’t the *REAL* Harlem Shake!)

While my years are advancing, I thought I was keeping up and keeping it together.

I fear it’s all come to an end now.

Oh, Drew! You’ve got to make time for color maintenance. You’re worth it!

When I first started seeing celebrities with strange dye jobs, I felt sorry for them. It’s really hard to keep camera ready 24/7. Celebrities have packed calendars and weird shooting schedules. It’s got to be difficult to get to the salon on a regular basis. I’m sure glad nobody photographs me on my way back from carpool line every day. (and so is everyone else)

When I casually mentioned to Ashley how sorry I was for these poor celebs, I was baffled that it went something like this:

Ashley: Oh, that’s the ombre hair thing. It’s supposed to look that way. They are doing that on purpose.

Me: Hombre? No, I don’t mean MAN hair. I’m talking about these poor starlets who have let their roots grow and are obviously not making it to the salon on time. It’s sad.

Ashley: Yes. That’s ombre hair.

Me: What? Hombre Hair? These girls are not Spanish.

Ashley: No, ombre. O-M-B-R-E.

Me: That’s not how you spell hombre.

Ashley: No, it isn’t. But, I’m not spelling HOMBRE, I’m spelling OMBRE.

Me: That’s not really a word.

Ashley: It is now. It’s what that dye job is called.

Me: We can’t be referring to the same thing. What I’m talking about is hideous. It’s what happens when you have a bad colorist. They can’t possibly be doing this on purpose.

Ashley: They really are.

Now, it’s not that I’m *always* the first one on a trend. I’m definitely not. But until this whole ombre hair deal, when informed of a new trend, I’ve always adapted. I may not partake myself if it’s not for me, but I understand what it’s all about. I embrace it, even if it’s something best left to others.

But not this time.

I can’t get on board with ombre hair. I just can’t. If you have ombre hair, please do not take offense. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are sporting it right now. You are on trend. I salute you.

I don’t understand you, but I salute you.

It’s not that I am averse to playing around with hair. I have had hair so long it fell half way down my back, and also hair so short they actually used clippers on the back to cut it. My hair’s been everything from permed to stick straight depending on the decade. I’ve been every imaginable shade of brown as well as many shades of red over the years. I probably even would have considered a crazy pink streak back in the day if I hadn’t had to look professional. I get it.

But no matter what crazy thing I was doing to my hair-and believe me, there have been plenty- I would have demanded a refund if I ever left a salon with black roots and blond tips looking like my best nearsighted girlfriend tried to do home coloring hair on me for the first time.

I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

I feel like my youth hangs in the balance. The next trend will really be the one that decides my fate. If I can get on board with whatever it is, maybe this ombre hair thing was just a fluke. Maybe I am still “with it”. But if I find myself just as bewildered by the next trend, it’s totally “move over granny” time.

What do you think about ombre, hombre?

Top 10 Reasons Preteen Boys Rock

Posted on September 24, 2012 by The Dose of Reality

1. THEY WILL CARRY THINGS FOR YOU

The preteen male absolutely revels in the fact that he is getting stronger, starting to fill out, and becoming manly (yes, I can ALMOST see that wisp of hair you are calling a mustache, honey). What fun are manly muscles if they are not showing off? None at all it turns out! Everywhere we go, Bobby immediately starts gathering bags or boxes to carry like he is part oxen. I don’t even have to ask. I swear I have not carried a bag out of Target for over a year. He is very proud to heft those bags right out to the car without even putting them in the cart, thank you very much. It is awesome!

2. THEY CAN REACH THE HIGH SHELF FOR YOU

Now, if you are very tall some of you might have to wait a bit for this one, but if you are short like me (I measure in at a shrimpy 5’3” on a good day), this rocks. Bobby has been taller than me for about a year now with a better reach to match. If my husband is not around or is otherwise occupied, guess who is more than happy to reach up to the high shelf for me? You got it. You can practically see him beat his chest like a cave man every time he performs this task. It’s a win-win for us both.

3. THEY ARE FUNNY

You know when a younger child tells you a joke and you laugh and laugh, not because it’s actually hysterical but because they made it up themselves and it’s your parental duty to chuckle? Or maybe you laugh despite the fact that it’s that’s been around so long even your parents are tired of it? Well, those days are over, my friend! Right about now, they start knowing real jokes that are actually funny. Now, these are jokes aren’t always “appropriate” for all types of company, mind you, but they know real honest to goodness ways to make you laugh *on purpose*. Aside from jokes, they totally grasp sarcasm, irony, puns, and can also deliver a deadpan line without cracking a smile. It all begins here!

4. THEY READ GOOD BOOKS

I’ve always been a big reader (find me on GoodReads!), and it turns out that Bobby is as well. When I was little, once you finished children’s books like Little House on the Prairie or Nancy Drew, you were out of luck if you were a reader. You had Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret, then…zilch. There was no Young Adult category like today. I started reading grown up books around 6th grade which was sometimes fine, but more often was not. (Let’s just say I read more Sidney Sheldon than was probably wise.) Now, however, there are fabulous books for young adults—books you will *love*. It was Bobby who told me I should read The Hunger Games trilogy long before any other grown up I knew had heard of it. He also turned me on to The Graveyard Book which introduced me to Neil Gaiman, who is now one of my favorite authors. I, then, told him about the Chaos Walking trilogy, and he returned the favor by having me read the Fablehaven books and Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. I know this will only get better and better, and I love it!

5. THEY LIKE GOOD MUSIC

I truly love all kinds of music. You’ll find classical, pop, rock, country, folk, and everything in between on my iPod. I have nothing against Justin Bieber or One Direction. They are absolute staples to my 9 year old daughter, Lucy. But music is important to the preteen boy, and the stuff they listen to is actual music that doesn’t feature a single artist who would be caught dead in Tiger Beat. Bonus points for you if your child plays an instrument (Bobby plays the guitar) because you can get them to learn songs you like. They can finally play well enough that you can even recognize the song. Because of Bobby, my iPod now also has rap and dubstep—yes, I do play them even when I’m alone without a child in sight. This might be counted as a negative for some people, but not for me. If you love music, your preteen will make sure you are up to date on what is good and current right now. Look who’s the coolest mom in carpool!

6. THEY ARE GOOD AT GAMES

I stop the “always letting the kids win” thing with games when kids turn 8 or 9. Now, I’m not saying that I purposefully go all out to stomp them in the ground, but I do quit letting them take multiple turns or changing the rules to suit them. Still, it’s not very competitive, and you can always win if you wish. You are playing games to spend time with them and that’s wonderful, but you can’t play up to your *actual* ability. Right about this stage, though, the preteen boy starts getting good at games and has the ability to go with his burgeoning male confidence. Whether you are talking about board games like Blokus, digital games like Hanging With Friends, or outside fun like shooting hoops, preteens will know what they’re doing. You may still win most of the time, but more and more it takes some actual *doing* and it’s not always a foregone conclusion. If you are somewhat competitive like me, this is fantastic!!

7. THEY CAN GO TO GOOD MOVIES

If you have a child, you will spend more than a few hours of your life in the movie theater watching children’s movies. Some are fantastic and destined to become classics, but some are so awful you deserve a reward (and a cocktail) just for making it to the end. Either way, you will be spending some of your time and money in this way. When boys hit the preteen years, the things they want to see are suddenly things that sound actually enjoyable to you as well. Now, the movies they select will have a definite male bent to them, but they are movies you might actually select for yourself, and there will not be an animated animal in any of them. You’ll happily attend the newest Batman movie, Mission Impossible, or Sherlock Holmes and—get this—you will actually be parenting at the same time. It doesn’t get any better than this!

8. THEY DO ALL THEIR OWN HOMEWORK

When your children are younger there is a fair amount of home work that you, as a parent, are required to spend hours doing. You are expected to turn lowly shoe boxes into adorable Valentine’s Day mailboxes, you have to help create posters and dioramas at the drop of a hat, and you probably have to make sure that all homework tasks are done by the time bed rolls around. You are mostly in charge of the whole deal really. Guess what, that is NOT TRUE of the preteen. A wonderful thing takes place right around middle school. You don’t have to do a damn thing. They start organizing themselves, they know what has been assigned, they are old enough to do any project thrown at them completely independently, and they frankly don’t want your help because they are just beginning to think they know everything. (Score!) Sure they might ask you to quiz them to make sure they know their stuff for the Social Studies test they’ve studied for, but sometimes you can’t even do that. (Hello Spanish! My husband took French, and I took Latin. We are no help at all!) Yes, you will still want to spot check to make sure that they are being neat with assignments (they are still boys, of course), and you will still make sure they are keeping up with all of their subjects. But overall, you don’t have assignments nor are you the one who has to keep track of what needs to be done and when. You will not believe the hours of your life this will allow you to reclaim, and the joy this will afford you. They are truly becoming very capable and self sufficient!

Of course sometimes they are too busy texting to actually talk to you.

9. THEY CAN SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT

Sure, they still spend a decent amount of time in the back seat. (When it’s your turn for carpool duty they want to sit next to their friends so they can talk, of course). But, when it’s just the two of you, he can sit right next to you. It’s much easier and more fun to talk this way. Now, you might have to lay down a few laws about who is allowed to touch the radio and air conditioning buttons, but other that that, it’s more fun to travel with another passenger this way. (And you feel less like a chauffeur when you are not the only person up front, let me tell you.)

10. YOU WILL LOVE THEM MORE THAN EVER BEFORE

I know if your son is small now, you can’t imagine what it’s like when his feet will be bigger than yours, and he needs deodorant. Just thinking about it might make you sad because he won’t be the same sweet little guy who wants to cuddle with you anymore. Even if this list hasn’t convinced you that the best is yet to come, do not fear. When you look in his eyes or see him smile, believe me, he is still every bit your little guy. You will still see the same boy who loved Thomas the Tank Engine and didn’t get the hang of potty training until you used M&Ms for rewards. The great thing is, now in his profile, in the way he carries himself, and in the way he treats others, you can start to get little glimpses of the man he is becoming, too. It’s amazing.