Surrounded by Pisces

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Which is good, I suppose, since I like fish.

My sister’s birthday is today. As is our best family friend’s son Austin. That’s right, y’all, two weeks in a row, I have family/friends who the share the same birthday. I should totally buy a lottery ticket. For myself.

Again, I can only write a love column to one person at a time, so Austin, maybe next year for you buddy.

Let’s talk about my sister for a minute, why don’t we? I really wanted to get her a fantastic gift this year, so I straight up asked her what she wanted and ordered it way too late and because it has to go all the way to Los Angeles, it won’t even be there in time for her special day. I am a giver. Spoiler alert, she asked for a thermos that will keep her coffee extra hot for eleven million hours and give her tongue third degree burns every time she drinks it, since apparently the McDonald’s lawsuits weren’t enough to teach her that scalding hot coffee is dangerous, although I suppose she did ask for a container with a lid, so she clearly learned something.

But what I really want to get her, like so super much it hurts me, is a great mate. Like Ryan Gosling. I mean, actual, literal, Ryan Gosling would be totally amazing and fantastic and fabulous, but if it can’t be him, then someone like him. Or Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper would be perfect for her, they are both wicked smart, both struggling with grief for lost parents, both have dimples and stunning hair, you see where I am going here, right? But if not him either then someone who would get her, who would appreciate her, who would see her the way I see her, the way everyone I know sees her, as someone awesome and special and beautiful and fun and funny and just plain great. Which aisle on Target would I find this exactly? Because I looked and nowhere did I see lovable sister mate.

So, I thought, now wait a minute, I have this blog, and while I shouldn’t exploit it, what if I exploit it for good? What if I just *happen* to post about my sister and her greatness, and I just happen to include some pictures of her and there just happens to be a way to contact me, which could lead some eligible bachelor right to her? What then? I’ll tell you what…between that and the thermos, I bet I would totally win sister of the year and never have to buy her a single gift again!

Fifteen things to know about Laura:

  1. She is totally willing to dress up for Halloween or…whatever! 😉
  2. She is very smart, which is fantastic, except for when she finishes the crossword before you have even had a chance to start it.
  3. She is incredibly loving and giving. How many aunts are willing to fly across the country just to get on another plane to take their 7 year-old niece to New York City to see “The Nutcracker” for the very first time?
  4. She has a great dry sense of humor, and she loves to laugh. She appreciates someone who makes her laugh out loud, too.
  5. She is a fantastic cook and baker and loves to share the products of that talent with the people she cares about.
  6. She is extremely committed to physical fitness and her health and does not miss a day at the gym, not even my wedding day.
  7. She keeps an extraordinarily clean house, but an extraordinarily unclean car…it obviously runs in the family.
  8. She is very brave and adventurous. She spent a year traveling the world alone because she wanted to see it.
  9. She loves movies and is a vault when it comes to Hollywood knowledge. I dare you to test her on the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game.
  10. She is a terrible driver, which is why she fits in so well in LA, but surely you could help her with that, right?
  11. She is a good listener, and she always has something insightful to say.
  12. Her hair, I would kill for her hair. Seriously, she washes it, puts it in a bun and then hours later looks a damn hair model.
  13. She is down to earth and not materialistic, but she does enjoy a nice pair of shoes…and really, who doesn’t?!
  14. She is an animal lover, she grew up with horses, and her dog Annie is definitely part of the package!
  15. She is very forgiving. You are right, Laura? You will forgive me for doing this sooner or later, won’t you?

So put your thinking caps on readers! Do you have the perfect brother/friend/co-worker/neighbor for my sister? Can you help me give her the best birthday present ever? If you are too shy to leave a comment below (and please don’t be!), then email me here!

 

 

Comments

Surrounded by Pisces — 34 Comments

    • I wish you could help, too, because I have a feeling you would work really hard on something like this! :)
      So far, no hit man has arrived at my door, but I will be watching my back! 😉

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  2. OMG, she is going to KILL you!! This would totally be a great “How we met” story for future grandkids, though. I hope it works! Laura is a CATCH and no doubt, soon, someone is going to figure that out and yank her right off the market. Happy birthday, Laura! Hope it’s a great one (and that the impending silent treatment for Ashley doesn’t last too long).

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    • Right? Wouldn’t it be the best story ever? Especially if it turned out to be Ryan Gosling or Bradley Cooper? Or whoever, honestly. I am just saying, BEST. STORY. EVER.
      We did speak by phone yesterday, both before AND after she had seen this post! 😉

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  3. Poor Laura! I hope she appreciates the nice gesture. Of course, I don’t think anyone is good enough for her. But, I do hope she finds someone who she can make her life exciting and fun, or at least watch videos in sweat pants with.

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    • Because really at the end of the day it is about the videos and the sweatpants, right? And someone to carry the heavy luggage. Forget Jerry Maguire, just someone to go in the attic and get the Christmas decorations! 😉

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  4. Well to any prospective applicants out there, I can second everything that was said (except for the horrible driving b/c I don’t think Laura has ever driven me anywhere). Laura is fantastic, always has been, always will be!

    I am going to put my thinking cap on and I am going to forward this to my brother who spends a lot of time in LA and I know has a ton of friends there! Oh and Laura, don’t kill your sister just yet, we need to see how this turns out! :)

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    • Thank you, first of all, for seconding all of things I said about her…trust me on the driving one…everyone has to have a flaw! 😉

      And secondly, thank you for playing along nicely here, yes, putting on your thinking cap is EXACTLY the point of the post, let’s get this thing going…your brother would be an excellent source of eligible, attractive, smart candidates! :)

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  5. First…forgive me too Laura, but I was SO glad to see this (thanks Ash!!). Laura is not only beautiful, she is “stunningly beautiful” and the total catch of the universe!! Talk about a total package!! Not sure how she’s going to feel about this, but I love that you “honored” her greatness and I sure hope she has an incredible Birthday!!! Love you both SO MUCH!! â¤

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    • Thank you so much! She is the total package, I agree! Imagine how much her future husband will agree, too, especially when he sees all the glowing commentary down here! 😉

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    • Thank you Jenny, Bloggess (how much do I love that title?!), she is amazing! :)
      If she had Beyonce the chicken (I do, thank you very much) or a traveling red dress, she would be like a double rainbow! 😉

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  8. I appreciate your altruistic motives
    I think its nice you did this, its a good present. Please let us know Laura’s response.

    Target?

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    • I am glad someone appreciates my motives! 😉
      I kid, I kid, Laura appreciates them, too, although she did tell me she was very glad I did not use her last name. Only because I didn’t think to! 😉
      Target is my happy place, I am not even kidding.

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  9. I told you that I read every one of your blog entries. :) This one though I had to respond to. I feel like between you and your dad, I almost know Laura…I’ve been told that Laura and I have at least a few things in common; and I would even venture to say that if I ever really had the chance to get to know her, we’d probably be very good friends. So, this entry was a little extra interesting to me since I feel like I can totally relate to many years of dating and the frustrations that come along with constant disappointments. So, I think I may have the answer. :) But, if she’s REALLY like me, she’s also stubborn, lol, and she probably will not follow through with this “crazy idea.” The answer is match.com. :) I know, I know, believe me I KNOW~ there are crazy people on match.com! However, as many people that are on there, statisitcally there have to be many wonderful people on there too who, like her, are tired with the frustrations of dating. And during the year and a half that I was a member~ I did receive many crazy emails, but I also met a few “great catches.” And if course, as you know, I also finally after a year and a half, met the love of my life who is now my husband. :) And the only reason he had joined match.com was because his younger brother had just married his perfect match who he had met on match.com. They were both two doctors in Virginia Beach who otherwise would have probably never met if they both had not been “crazy enough” to join match.com. And of course, my (future) husband lived in Augusta, GA while I was living in Charlotte, NC and we would have never met if I had not been brave enough to take that leap of faith a year and a half earlier to join match.com. :) I really hope that Laura will read this..,and I really hope that she will be “brave enough,” “silly enough,” or “crazy enough” just to give it a shot for at least a year and half. A year a half on match.com and I believe that she will meet her soulmate. :) Happy Birthday Laura!!

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    • Thank you for reading and commenting Emily! :) She did match.com (at my insistence) in Charlotte several years ago, and it led to a relationship with a total loser (he didn’t appear to be one at first, of course), but who knows, maybe she would do it again. Maybe she would even let me blog about it?! 😉

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  10. Happy birthday, Laura!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day!! Please consider talking to Ashley again this calendar year. :)

    Ashley, as you know, if I knew someone worthy to suggest I would have done it long ago!

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    • Ha, ha, ha! She better talk to me again this calendar year! 😉

      And yes, I know, if you had a secret stashed catch for her, you would totally reveal him! :)

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  11. OMGOSH! HA! I am so glad you did this! I, too, hope she doesn’t kill you. But I think it’s sweet and a great idea. What IF someone who reads this actually knows Bradley Cooper?!! I don’t like him with that Zoe Whatsername, at ALL. They don’t “go”.

    Anyway, I personally like number 8 on that list the best. WHAT girl can say she did that?? Talk about ‘life’ experience. It’s like, “I went to college” … “oh yeah? I did, too. AND around the world, bitches.” (Or that’s how *I’d* say it.) 😉

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    • Ha, ha, ha, your comment honestly made me laugh out loud! :)
      See, exactly, if you figure the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon could work for Bradley or Ryan, then the odds are good, SOMEONE reading knows SOMEONE who knows SOMEONE and well you know…I am just saying, it *could* happen! 😉

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  13. It’s always the amazing, beautiful, fun, loving and totally incredible women that are hard to match! You never said how old your sis is! (Unless I missed it somewhere, or maybe you would REALLY be in trouble if you did!) Anyway, I think this post is adorable and I’m sure your sis would only find it amusing and precious of her sis to try to hook her up! (Hope this little comment helps!) I have heard great things too about match.com, so it’s always fun to try something new- especially if she’s adventurous like you say! But, whatever your sister does….her prince charming will find her someday. And until then, it sounds like she is doing just fine on her own. :)

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    • I did totally forget to mention her age…sheesh, I clearly have not found my calling as a matchmaker! 😉 She turned 32 yesterday.
      Thank you so much for your comment, I certainly hope her prince (and hey a prince would be totally fine, too!) will come along soon and find her! :)

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  15. as a close friend of laura’s, i KNOW how much she loves you ashley and this post. she was raving about it at her birthday dinner and i couldn’t wait to get home and read it. what a lovely tribute. now if only we could get ryan gosling to see it… oh wait.. i do believe he’s on twitter and/or facebook. AHEM!

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    • When you say raving about it at dinner, is that secret code for crying into her napkin? 😉
      Seriously, though, thank you for reading and commenting AND tweeting to Ryan G. :)
      If y’all could have been friends with Heath Ledger if he had been at UVA, then we could all totally be in the wedding of Ryan and Laura, right? 😉

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  17. I take it she didn’t kill you! Even though I only met her a handful of times, she was very kind. Good luck on the hunt for a beau! Hope she had a great birthday!

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    • Thanks Amy! So far I am still alive, although I will be tempted to check the brakes in my car after her next visit! 😉
      She said that she had a very nice birthday, so that makes me happy!

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